We're just getting over a rough hump with Rhett's sleeping. The 4-month & 6-month marks always seem to mess things up a bit... not sure why. Anyway, he's doing better now... and the past few early morning feedings (around 4:30ish) has been extra sweet. I don't seem to mind hearing his little moans for milk/comfort if it's just once a night, and when I sneak into his room, he hears me, sits up and reaches for me. Those sweet chubby fists and wrists... and he quickly nuzzles for his nourishment.
For about the last 3-4 nights, after we finish our nursing session and putting on a clean diaper, I hold him upright for a bit, waiting for him to burp. Down the hallway, our tree gives off a glow and I walk out to the living room to enjoy the bokeh of Christmas lights. His little eyes squint at first, and then they lock in and daze, luring as all good Christmas lights do.
Last night was no different. We nursed, I changed him, and smushed his cheek with my nose. He kept leaning his body toward the doorway, and I understood. He wanted to see the lights again. So we crept the four feet down the hallway and when he saw them, his eyes squinted in that most adorable way. Then his wet, little lips circled tight and his eyes grew large and he cooed, "Oooooh!"
He turned to me, in jerky, baby movements; put his chubby palms on my cheeks and opened wide his mouth as he dove for my mouth. Of course, I kissed him back, my heart bursting with pure Mama joy at the wonder of children. He looked back at the tree, circling his lips again and gushing, "Oooohh...", his heart bursting with the pure wonder of Christmas lights.
These interactions.... they are the dearest moments of mothering. These are the moments that everyone means when they say, "Drink it all in! It goes too fast!" Because it does. Even as I experience it, I know it's fleeting. It's like trying to grab water as it pours from a fount. I know these moments are precious. I know they're extraordinary. And, I can't hold on to them. All I can do is love them, live them. And maybe living them, while knowing you're experiencing the miraculous, is the best we can do this side of Heaven.
For about the last 3-4 nights, after we finish our nursing session and putting on a clean diaper, I hold him upright for a bit, waiting for him to burp. Down the hallway, our tree gives off a glow and I walk out to the living room to enjoy the bokeh of Christmas lights. His little eyes squint at first, and then they lock in and daze, luring as all good Christmas lights do.
Last night was no different. We nursed, I changed him, and smushed his cheek with my nose. He kept leaning his body toward the doorway, and I understood. He wanted to see the lights again. So we crept the four feet down the hallway and when he saw them, his eyes squinted in that most adorable way. Then his wet, little lips circled tight and his eyes grew large and he cooed, "Oooooh!"
He turned to me, in jerky, baby movements; put his chubby palms on my cheeks and opened wide his mouth as he dove for my mouth. Of course, I kissed him back, my heart bursting with pure Mama joy at the wonder of children. He looked back at the tree, circling his lips again and gushing, "Oooohh...", his heart bursting with the pure wonder of Christmas lights.
These interactions.... they are the dearest moments of mothering. These are the moments that everyone means when they say, "Drink it all in! It goes too fast!" Because it does. Even as I experience it, I know it's fleeting. It's like trying to grab water as it pours from a fount. I know these moments are precious. I know they're extraordinary. And, I can't hold on to them. All I can do is love them, live them. And maybe living them, while knowing you're experiencing the miraculous, is the best we can do this side of Heaven.
4 comments:
I amen your words of expressing the fleeting ness of baby hood. Thanks love, those photos of Rhett are such gifts!
Such a sweet moment to record. I love those moments when it's just me and my son, and there's no camera or other person to record what's happening - I always stop to think: this is significant.
Ohmygoodness. He is so big! And that sounds so adorable. I love reading about Rhett and having an idea of what lies around the corner for my almost 4 month old!!! (one wakeup a night at 4:30 only would be awesome!)
Jenny, I'm right there with you on LIVING the moments. I can catch special memories being lived and I try to soak them up and breath them in as long and as deeply as possible for I know how fleeting yet how precious they are. Live with our children is sweet and the more moments I have with my kiddos and the older they grow the more and more I understand why ever so many people repeat over and over how these are the best years of our lives. Thanks for your beautiful post. I love your boy's face...what a darling!
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