treasure

The more time I spend with my children, I realize that what I treasure, they treasure.

We hear that all the time.  Our children do as we do.  They're watching.  But, really, the older they get, the harder it becomes to separate our lives from theirs.  I mean, when they're little, you put them down for two naps and an early bedtime.  During those times, you sneak chocolate, you watch movies, you sew, you talk on the phone, etc.  Then, they grow.  You can't spell in front of them anymore, you certainly can't sneak chocolate, and movies??  There's so little time to yourself, who wants to waste it on a movie??

I spend a lot of my free time on my computer.  Emailing, blogging, editing photos, etc.  And so, I notice my girls begging to play with the buttons on my computer.  Wanting to do things on my phone.  Watch a tv show.  I initially get bugged.  "No.  Go outside.  Use your imagination!  Read, paint, color!"

The Lord has been slowly revealing to me that what I treasure, they also will treasure.  If I'm outside, they'll be outside.  If I love reading, they'll love reading.  If I love my computer, they'll love their computers (one day).

Instead of directing Bella to paint alone today during quiet time, I sat with her.  I tried my hand at creativity and she loved it.  She watched me... and then mirrored me.  Kids are so complementary like that.  It only instills in me a greater desire to be great for them.  To point them to the One Thing that lasts and matters.

I love our family monograms.  

what they hear

Just some snippets from our days:

We were in line at Target, and the girls spied the cover of the latest Sports Illustrated magazine.  You know the one (don't worry, I won't post the picture here): with the three girls' backsides on full display, all of them coyly looking over their shoulders at you.  My girls were AP.PALLED.

"Mama!!" Bella urgently whispered.  "Those girls are showing their... you know... bums!!!"
Summer was hysterical.  "Mama!!!  Their bums are showing!!  I can't believe it!!  They should wear some pants!"
"And Mama..." Bella's face was urgent and grimacing, "I just noticed... they also aren't wearing any booby-bras [their word for bras... they just made it up].  I just can't believe it."

"I know girls, just don't... uh, don't look at them.  Yes, they're being immodest.  I'm not sure why they're not wearing clothes.  It's crazy, huh?"

So... I continue to check out and am paying my bill, when I hear Summer yell at me, "Mama!!  That BOY IS LOOKING AT THE GIRLS' BUMS!!!!"

Turning around, both girls are staring agape at a 30-something man who had innocently [or not so innocently] picked up the magazine and was flipping through it.

He freezes.  Looks at the girls, who are still stuttering over his gazing at the girls' bums and belly buttons.  We make eye-contact... and he quickly puts the magazine away.

Yep.  And thus ended my trip to Target.

+++++++

We had mac-n-cheese for dinner tonight.  With grapes.  High rollin', I'm telling ya!  The girls were all "mmm-ing" and "this is the BEST dinner, EVER, Mama!!"  Then, Bella looks down and grows quiet.  "Mama?  I'm loving mac-n-cheese soooo much.  Mac-n-cheese is my life!!  In fact, I've eaten so much, I think I feel it fillin' up my boobies."

+++++++

Summer's been having lots of trouble being 3 years old.  It's tough.  It's tough listening to instructions.  It's tough obeying with a joyful spirit.  It's tough controlling anger [and there's a lot of anger].  Sooo... while I have no idea how to parent three drastically different children, I do know how to pray.  And I know the One who changes hearts.  

This morning, we read Proverbs 12 together - Bella, Summer and me.  I tried my best to explain verse one with them:

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,

be he who hates reproof is stupid.

It made a big impact, because in this household, we're not supposed to say "stupid."  Anyways, we chatted about how we really desire to be wise women... girls who use our brains and hearts to do the right things, even when they're hard.  And sometimes, we have to be corrected or told to do things, and instead of kicking our feet and crossing our arms in a huff, we can just say, "Ya, I can try to do it better!" 

Fast forward to tonight, I was making dinner and noticed Summy doing her potty dance.  She wanted to help me stir, but I told her to go potty first (this sort of instruction would usually be met with some grumpy face and sour expression).  Instead, she dropped her toys and said, "Okay, Mama!"  

I.about.fell.over.  "Summer!!!  Very good!!!  That makes my heart so happy to hear you obey with a joyful heart!!"

"Ya!" she shouted as she skipped to the bathroom.  Then she halted in her steps, turned around and said, her face aglow, "Mama!  I'm not being stupid!!  I'm being a wise girl!!"

Just about burst my heart in two.  So thankful for little (BIG) moments like these.

B.J.

Life is speeding on by in these parts of the woods.  Really, it just feels like it goes by faster than it ever has before.  Something about having three younguns and a husband leaving soon on a deployment and life, etc.

Anyways, Bella is growing into such a young girl.  Funny thing about having kids grow up: personalities change and the little tikes you thought you knew and understood so well (ha!) transform and wa-LA!  You're thrown into a new phase!  Luckily, Bella is entering such a lovely phase.  One where her heart is transforming into a more helpful, others-oriented one.  She listens and responds more readily and is quite pleasant and helpful to have around.  Now, my sweet Summy-Sue, on the other hand.... well, that's another story for another day.

One thing that I guess will never change (at least any time soon) with my Bells is her curious mind.  She is CONSTANTLY asking questions.  All day long.  I am not exaggerating.  It can get on my nerves, to be honest, but I do love it about her.  I decided to count how many "Why" or "What" questions she asked me a few days ago, just to give Trav a number.  I gave up counting at about 11 a.m. when she had reached the 70's.

We were headed to a dr's appointment yesterday, and of course, she was on her tirade of questions about everything that passed outside her car window.

"Why do YOU ask so many questions, little Miss??"  I asked playfully.

She giggled and said, "That's just the way God made me, I guess!  I want ANSWERS!!  I can't help but want more and more answers to everything!!  .... Mama, why do I want answers??"

I laughed and said I didn't know.

A few minutes later, "Mama?  You want to know something?  God made me specialer and different than He made anyone!  He did something different when He made me that is like no one else!  You want to know what it is?"

"Why, yes I do," I responded.

"When you tell me something, my brain just repeats it!  Whenever I hear something, I just hear my brain record it ... and then I can repeat it to myself over and over and over.  And I can always hear your voice!"

Again, I laughed, "I believe that, Bella Boo.  You're always repeating things!  You do have a very good little memory."

"Yep, God just made me special that way."

"Yes," I agreed.  "God makes every person unique and just the way He wants them to be.  He never makes mistakes."

"Hmmm... I wonder how He does that?  How DOES He make people, Mama?"

"Well.... He takes a piece of their Daddy and a piece of their Mama and then makes a whole new person in the Mama's belly."

"Wow!  So, like, He took part of your arm (of course, when you weren't looking, right Mama?) and part of Daddy too... and wa-LA!  Made a person!  That's cool."

Ahhh.... this girl.  These conversations are such a source of joy for me.  Bella at five years.

what I do (B&W)

me:

- trying to get everything in order for Christmas

::buying gifts is really difficult for me::

- feeling defeated in the "cleanliness of the home" area

::seriously wishing I had a housekeeper::

- trying to let the little things go and really just love my kids

::loving doesn't only mean snuggling;

it also means the hard job of being consistent in discipline and teaching::

 bella:

- doing great with her reading and writing

- would rather ride her bike more than anything else

- has more questions about the way the world works more than any kid I know

- is really turning a corner in obeying Mama and Daddy

::so encouraging::

 summer:

- we celebrated her birthday yesterday, because Trav will be out of town on her actual birthday

::she absolutely LOVED her whole day::

- she is struggling so much with controlling her anger and frustration

::it's hard to see your sweet-natured child enter this phase::

- still loves to just be held and snuggled and kissed always

::(i can do that)::

rhett:

- drools like a crazy-man... yet still no teeth

::this nursing mama won't complain!!::

- his favorite game is grabbing my face and/or hair, wait for me to say, "OUCH!",

and then he giggles like crazy.

::so cute.  it's safe to say his favorite word is "ouch."::

- he's started doing the "shy boy" game.  

someone will say hi to him and he gives a huge, gummy smile before 

nuzzling his head in my shoulder.

::LOVE::

Oh Bella...

My eldest.  There's nobody like her, nobody at all.

This morning, she came into my room positively giggling.

As she stood by my bed, near my groggy head, I could literally see the gears turning in her head as she held back the mischievous grin and chortles.

"What is it..." I prodded in a knowing voice.

"Oh, just a little secret I've been planning for Daddy..." she giggled again.

I promised not to tell Travis.  You think that rules out posting it on the world wide web??

"Let's just give it a try."

Bahahaha.

This girl.

what my day is comprised of

Yesterday, Bella went missing.  It was rather quiet in the back of the house, and when I called her, I heard a guilty, "COMING, MOM!!!"

"What were you up to?" came out of my mouth, but I already knew by the powerful smell of Anna Sui's "Flight of Fancy" perfume about her.
"Wellllll, I was just trying to open up your perfume so I could smell it... and it spilled.... BUTIWASGOINGTOCLEANITUP!!!"

It had been a long day.  A long week.  I kinda wanted to scream and throw something.  But, I was nursing a baby & Summer was drawing on Smidge's face with a pencil... so I took a deep breath, told her to go clean up the mess and please, NEVER touch my stuff without asking.

As she walked down the hall, I heard her mumble (she talks to herself a LOT), "I made a mistake, but at least I smell good."

And then, after Rhett was done nursing, I went back there to see how big the damage was she had cleaned up.  I heard her talking to herself (see?) in her room.  It went something like this:
"And then Daddy will come home and he'll say, 'It's okay you spilled the perfume, Bella, because you smell good.  So SO GOOD.  I'm very PROUD of you!'  And then I'll say, 'No Daddy, you can't be proud of me, even though I smell so good, because Mama said, "Never, EVER touch my stuff AGAIN."'"

Yes, my daughter.  She's exasperating, hilarious, infuriating, a genius.

+++++++++

My mom sent me this necklace in the mail.  Have you seen them?  Excellent teething necklaces!  Rhett loves his, thus I wear it often.

While we were at the dentist yesterday, Summer told the dentist, "That's my mama's necklace.  She wears it and Rhett likes to chew on it.  He chews on it when he's not sucking on my mama's booby."

Thaaaaanks for the mental image, Sums.  

++++++++++

At lunch, the girls were eating and I was nursing Rhett on the couch.  For some reason, my girls yaw all day about how HUNGRY they are.  I limit their snacking... like major.  I serve them a well-rounded, full meal and what do they do?  Yack and yack and yack and play and play and play ... and it takes FOR.EV.ER for them to finish.  Me no comprendo.  

Anyways, as I sit nursing the baby, I beg them (for the 11th time) to quit talking and finish their SANDWICH.  Because... it's almost nap time.  "My favorite part of the day," I tack on to the end of my plea.

"NAPTIME IS YOUR FAVORITE?!?!"  Bella exclaims incredulously.  "Not mine!!"

"Well, what's yours, little girl?"

"Hmm... my first favorite is the time when Daddy comes home.  Then, my second favorite is when he likes to give us plenty of candy and ice cream (??).  And my third favorite is when I can ride my bike with Daddy."

In case you missed that:

Daddy = WIN WIN WIN

Always.

Forever.

No questions.

catch up

I have been a serious blogger slacker.  Something about having three kids and homeschooling and training and trying to spend less time on the computer, etc.  The more children I have, the more my little world dwindles down to home and those four other people I live with.  Everything is about them: how I serve them, how I love them, how I feed them, how I clean for them, how I teach them.  Of course, it's all ultimately about Christ and how I can do absolutely nothing apart from HIM.  That truth is so poignant, lately.  I am in desperate need of His love and grace in my every day faithfulness to serve and love my family well.

While my life is far from glamorous, there have been a few fun/noteworthy items as of late.  We'll start with the kiddos:

Bella is doing well.  I can see that she is growing up and it is very encouraging.  For the most part, she has a good attitude and is willing to be helpful.  She is as inquisitive, as ever, and loves doing schoolwork.  We were butting heads a bit over reading (which surprised me), so we took a few weeks off of reading and began anew this last week.  I aimed to be way more encouraging and more consistent with just a little bit every day.  It has seemed to help and we always end our lesson with reading a few chapters of our read-aloud book, which is currently Farmer Boy, by Laura Ingalls Wilder.

The girl LOVES dancing (ballet in particular).  She gets books from the library on ballet and studies them constantly.  Whenever she hears music, she begins twirling and leaping and literally is probably dancing 85% of the day.  I'm okay with it, as long as it's not in public spaces.  She's been known to kick innocent passerbys.  She BEGSSSSSS to do ballet.  We've told her that she must prove to us that she's responsible and well-mannered and respectful to adults before she may take ballet.  Annnd... we've noticed much improvement in those areas recently.  The girl's got grit, I tell ya...

Summer ... oh, what to say about Summer.  We've hit a hard streak with this sweet one.  Is it because 3 is around the corner?  Not sure why exactly, but she struggles constantly (it seems) with controlling that little temper of hers.  She is sweet and compliant, until you pass her will and BOOM! that girl is NOT happy.  We really try and nip the tantrums in the bud, so instead she seethes and will respond with a void of emotions and lack of words.  Trav and I feel like we're new parents again.  Often, I just send her to her room to calm down and then go chat with her in a bit.  It usually helps, and we just keep bringing the problem before the Lord, asking for a change of heart within her.  O, these young years... they're so tough!!

And little Rhett.  Well, he had a rough two weeks, where he was waking all throughout the night and crying lots during the day.  It completely wore me out.  Of course, Trav was gone during one of those weeks and when he returned home, I felt pummeled.  Fortunately, Rhett's sleep has improved almost to where he was previously and we're all happier on this end.  He has terribly sensitive skin and I'm not sure what to attribute it to.  Last night, I gave him a bath and put some Aveeno lotion on his eczema-like skin. This morning he awoke with a rash all over his tummy and arms and neck and legs.  Ugh.  I'm not sure where I'm going wrong, or if it has to do with my diet or his lotion or clothes???  Seriously, parenting is TOUGH!!  And such a guessing game.

As for Trav, he is finishing up his LAST MASTERS class EVER this Thursday!!!!!!!!!  This has been such a difficult season for us both to put up with.  He began in 2009 and took one class at a time, with a few breaks in there.  The Air Force pretty much forces you to get a higher education degree if you want to promote.  It's incredibly stupid, as these guys already have a college degree and a degree in flying, but another one is necessary.  Trav is not a school kind-of-guy, so it's been challenging to remain motivated and consistent, to say the least.  ANYways, he's nearly done and we're both oh-so-glad.  Our last weekend with homework getting in the way.  Praise the Lord!!

As for me, I feel that I am finally beginning to warm up to this place as "home."  The weather is cooling a bit (but not nearly as cool as the rest of the U.S.), and we are actually able to be outside once more.  I am involved in a women's Bible study once a week, along with our Missional Community (small group of sorts, through church) once a week.  I go to a co-op for Bella's homeschool once a week, too, so my social life is building, though not overwhelming.  Like I said earlier, though, my life is very much at home and with my children.  It's simple and very basic, but what I firmly feel I'm called to do.  Even though it's mundane, I take joy in the fact that I feel needed and useful and fulfilled in what I do.

On the side, my dad and I are taking an online photography class together.  It's good for me to get out and shoot throughout the week.  I so enjoy that part of life and hope to keep learning more.  I also actually put a book on hold at the library - a reading-for-pleasure type of book!  I don't believe I've read for pleasure in.... well, a very long time.  Let's see if I actually get to enjoy this one!

That's it for now.  Thanks for reading, lovelies... I'll try and check in soon!

kids quotes

It's that time again...

...that time where my husband's out of town and I'm sure my mom is tired of me telling her everything the girls said this week.  Therefore, I turn to the blogosphere to write down their quips.

*****

Like I said, Travis has been out of town all week.  And it's definitely been the hardest week to date.  Rhett came down with some awful cold and wouldn't sleep.  Literally WOULDN'T sleep, unless I was holding him.  All day, he would cry and moan and not sleep.  All night too.  I'm absolutely pooped.  Summer also reverted back to some sort of "Daddy's-gone-so-I'm-going-to-pee-my-pants" syndrome, and to top it off, it rained for 3 days straight.

In the middle of it all, I am running the kids out to the car in the rain because we NEED to get out of the house.  Once we get in the car, Bella says, "Ahh... it's so EASY being a mama."

Dost my ears deceive me?  I, bleary-eyed, crazy-haired, sweatsuited out, stare at her in the rearview mirror.  "What did you say??"

"It's so EASY being a mama.  All you have to do all day is just tell everyone else what to do and then your daughters do all your work for you."

Let's just say it's a good thing she was way in the back seat and I in the front.

 

*****

We were in Sam's Club yesterday, and the girls were chatting their heads off while I mindlessly pushed the cart through the aisles.  My ears perked up when I heard Bella mentioning how fat my tummy is.  

"Bella, my tummy's not FAT.  It's chubby." (What's the difference?  I don't know... but it sounds better... almost cute-like.)

"Well, it's just really squishy."

"You wanna know why it's squishy?  Because it was YOUR home, your sister's home, and your brother's home... and y'all stretched me out."

......

Later, as we're standing in the check-out line, Summer spies the LARGE lady at the cash register.  "Mama!  You're not fat... THAT lady is a FAT mama.  You're not fat.  You just... straight.  You a straight mama!"

Thank you, Summer.  That I am.

*****

Bella, my usually first to rise daughter, laid in bed quite late this morning.  I went in to ask what was wrong and she had a rather mischievous look on her face.  

"What's wrong?  Are you feeling sick?" I queried.

"Well, I think I'm a little sick," she replied.

"What do you mean, 'a little sick.'?"

"Well, it's just that I think I'm a little sick."

"I'm not sure what you mean.  Are you going to throw up?  Does your tummy hurt?  Do you have a head ache??"

"Weelllll... no.  It's just that... well, it's just that I think you should bring me breakfast in bed this morning.  Cuz I'm feeling a little sick and breakfast in bed sounds SO FUN for little girls who are feeling a little sick."

Meanwhile, she pulls out a book and flips open to the page where the kid is getting served breakfast in bed.  Pointing to it, she says, "See?  Now.  Don't you want to go make me some breakfast in bed??"

I'm sorry to say I laughed my head off, and marched straight out of that room.  I told her she could have breakfast in bed on her birthday.  Like I said, it's been a doozy of a week.

*****

I heard Summer in the back bathroom this morning.  Getting up to see how it was all going, I see her shuffling out, jammies around her ankles and hands held outward.  

"I went POOP, Mama!  And I wiped myself!!  And now I need to wash my hands because I have poo poo on my hands."

Yes, she did.  And she may have needed a little help with the other end, as well.  But, kuddos to her for being "responsible." 

As I was helping her wash her hands, she piped up, "I went a BIIIIG poop!  And I named that one Daddy.  And then I went a little poop.  And that one's name was Rhett."

Never a dull moment, folks.  Never a dull moment.

little bit of B.J.

I quit Facebook last week.  I simply do.not.have.enough time in the day for that kind of crazy.  The last week of schooling has gone well, but man, I need to be on my game with time scheduling.  I rarely have time to surf the web anymore, as well... but I consider blogging a joy.  And writing is a discipline that I do not want to lose.  It has definitely taken a back seat since adding Rhett to our ranks, but when I have the chance to write, it is always a joy and has a calming effect on my spirit.

That said, I like to have a place to jot down the little sayings of my kids.  Facebook usually did the trick for me, but now The Blog will take that roll, whether you like it or not.  :-)

(Annnnddd... I had a whole list of things my girls had said that I wanted to record, but it's 9 o'clock p.m., my brain is literally *crickets* right now, and my sweet bed is calling my name).  Here's a piece of wisdom from my 5-year old at dinner tonight:

We had a long day.  Rhett wouldn't sleep.  He wanted my arms and nothing else.  Summer kept interrupting any and every schooling attempt I was accomplishing.  Bella was having trouble paying attention.  I was losing patience at 8:30 a.m.  Trav shows up at the end of the day and as we're sitting around the dinner table, I'm staring off into space - a dead beat, for sure.

Bella, the ever observant child that she is, looks at me and asks what's wrong.  I stared at her, and finally answered, "I'm so tired.  I want to go on a long trip.  By myself.  Can I do that?  Just go... for about three or four days?"

I watched her eyes grow alarmed as I spoke, as she has an irrational (to me) fear of me leaving her.  Then, her honey-brown eyes softened, as she realized I was "joking" (or rather, simply speaking nonsense).  "Noooo, Mama," she chuckled.  "You can't leave us!"

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because," she turned her body toward me to fully explain this reality, "once you grow up, you became a Mama.  And once you chose to do that (be a Mama), sorry Charlie! There's no changing your mind!  You gotta stick with it!!"

Well, isn't she a wealth of knowledge??  :-)

Birthday Girl

Our dear Bella June turns 5 today.  FIVE.  How can that be??  Don't you all remember when I was writing you, asking if I should take castor oil or not to evict that girl from the womb??  I feel like it was just a hop, skip & jump away.  Hmmm... time is so funny.

So, dear B.J. (as we affectionately call you), you are growing up right before our eyes.  You are turning into quite a unique little lady and I love being able to have a front row seat.  I've been noticing how you are growing in your compassion and "interpersonal" skills with Summer and Rhett.  You've always been good at leading and taking charge, but I've been noticing you coming alongside Summer and helping her.  And falling head over heels for your brother is something beautiful to view.  You have always been a quick, smart girl and I love you for it.  Our first week of school together went swimmingly, and mostly due to your love for learning.  What can I say except that I love you, have always loved you, and feel so privileged to be your Mama.  You are my dear, dear girl.  You have my heart.

We have our homeschool co-op (of sorts) today.  Then, we'll come home, take naps, and celebrate the good ol' fashioned way of a family party.  Cake and ice cream and gifts and lots and lots of LOVE for our girl.  She requested (and I quote):

Pasta for dinner

w/ chocolate milk

Chocolate cake

w/ purple icing

and m-n-m's ALL over it

Chocolate ice cream

Right up my alley!  I love having a daughter.  :-)

first day

Bella's first day of Kindergarten

When I grow up, I want to be: a cooker and a girl that works in a store

Age: 4.... eight days until she's 5!!

Favorite color: pink

Can't believe this day is here... the saying is so, so, so true: "The days are long, but the years are short."

Wish me luck!!

First day of school: August 25, 2013

Bella (nearly 5), Rhett (3 mos), Summer (2 1/2)

hold loosely

As a child, I broke things a lot.  I also lost things.  I distinctly remember a situation where my grandparents had given my sisters and me new sweatshirts.  Pastel colored, white puffy polar bear sweatshirts.  We loved them.  And then one day, I couldn't find mine.  I remember searching everywhere to no avail.  My mom came in my room and was obviously frustrated*, and she sternly said, "Well, it didn't grow legs and walk away, Jenny.  You lost it.  How you lose everything I just don't know."  I felt so upset with myself, and I remember vowing to NEVER EVER get mad at my kids for losing, or ruining, things.

*As a mother myself now, I much more often side with my mother in my memories of my childhood.  I see the "bigger picture."  She was harsh in my memory, but I can sure understand why nowadays!

On Sunday, a precious item was broken.  I had left my camera sitting atop our armoire, with the strap just slightly dangling over the edge.  The girls were playing excitedly in the afternoon, and Bella threw open the armoire doors to retrieve something.  In the haste, the door caught the strap and flung my camera to the hardwood floors.  My new lens came smashing off and broke into pieces.  (Fortunately, the camera body is insured and seems to be working fine.)  I was in absolute shock.  I tried to maintain my composure, especially as it was completely accidental.  But, once the girls left the room, I broke into tears.  Oh, my beloved camera!  And right before our trip to California!!

Then, this morning, I tried to snag a few extra winks as the girls played in their room.  They came to me and told me they were soooo hungry.  I said they could snack on some grapes in the fridge until I was ready to make them breakfast.  Minutes later, I came stumbling into the kitchen to find Bella with her hand clutching the bar of butter, then licking her hand, and squeezing it more to change its shape.  Whatttt????

Later, as I was getting their oatmeal ready, I come into the dining room, to find Bella digging a ball point pen into our kitchen table, to see how deep an indent she could make.  !!!!!!!

And not an hour later, as I came out of the bathroom, I find Bella scratching her fingernail into our {fairly new} flat screen tv, with Summer watching wide-eyed.

Needless to say, we had some stern disciplining moments this morning.

Sometimes, the girl seems so bright.  She has an amazing vocabulary and her reading and listening comprehension blows my mind.  And then, mornings like this happen and I want to shake her and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????"

Then I remember, she's not yet five.  She's a child.  Destruction can seem rather fun... until Mama steps in the room.  And I also remember that thing I once swore to myself as a little girl, and honestly, it helps me retain my anger/frustration.  We all have days that everything seems to go wrong.  Days when it seems someone else is living in our body.  Poor kid.  Today was that day.

On days like today (and days like Sunday), I am once again reminded to hold loosely to our earthly treasures.  Things are just things.  Here to be used... and they'll probably get abused, too.  Which, in fact, is the #1 reason I so love thrift store furniture.  :-)

B, S, & R

Bella: Well, my little girl is going to turn 5 in just over a month.  How crazy!!  She and Rhett really have bonded well, despite their initial meeting and every day, hundreds of times, she coos over him and proclaims her love for her "favorite brother."  And, he responds most to Bella.  Whenever she comes near, he lights up with a smile and coos right back.  I love these two.

We've decided to begin homeschooling Bella this year.  She missed the cutoff date for public Kindergarten by 3 days and well, I just feel like she needs some sort of schooling.  I am finding myself more and more passionate about teaching her, so this year we will embark on a trial run of homeschooling and see how it fits our family.  I ordered the curriculum and it just came in the mail.  Travis and I are working on turning our extra room/guest room into a school room.  We will begin in a month!!

She is just getting over her 5,210th (or something like that) ear infection.  The Dr. said it he couldn't find the tubes in her ears, so they might've fallen out which will more than likely mean another (her 3rd) set of tubes.  I've noticed her hearing decreasing over the past week and once the infection totally clears and tubes are put in, this should hopefully help.

Summer: Well, wouldn't you know it?  She's pooped on the pot for three days in a row now!  (And I'm sure she'll appreciate me proclaiming this news to the www, but after my last post, I just had to share!)  She's different than her older sister in nearly every way, and Travis and I are learning how to traverse the paths of "drastically different children under the same parenting" road.

She continues to be the goofy little girl we all love.  She naps well and eats like a bird, i.e. very little.  She LOVES stories and begs for us to tell her stories of when we ourselves were little children all day long.  She wants to be held, snuggled, loved on 24/7.  And of course, as we all know, she would eat that little brother of hers right up if we allowed her to.

Rhett: And this little darling has captured my heart in every which way.  He smiles all the time, especially when he sees one of his sisters or myself.  He loves to coo and simply is content to lie on the couch or sit in his bouncy and watch the household go about our business.  Currently, he is enamored with his fists.  He balls them up and waves them in front of his face, all the while cooing away at those curious things!

As of today, he is 8 weeks old and sleeping well.  I put him down around 7:30 or 8 p.m.  He'll wake to eat around 10, but is still mostly asleep while I feed him, and I'm feeling he's going to drop that feeding soon.  Then, he'll go right back down until 4:30 or 5 a.m.  After that feeding, he'll sleep til 7:30 or so.  I can't complain, no siree.

Travis and I were just whispering last night in bed, after we put him down, that we feel like he's always been a part of the family.  So beautiful and strange how that is: before your child comes into the world, you can feel like you just can't imagine anything being different, and yet, once they come, they feel like they've always belonged.

smile on, my darling

As I was folding my laundry this afternoon, I sat watching Bells color.  Her wild and crazy hair was everywhere and beautiful... and I had to capture the moment.  She has a very unique beauty to me.  Her eye color and hair color and skin color are all that gooey-honey-golden brown that reminds me of warmth and spices and jewels.

I snapped a few shots of her before she asked me to take one of her holding her picture.  I noticed, as I have been noticing the past few months, that she smiles with her mouth closed.  Wondering why she does, I asked her.  I asked why she doesn't show her teeth when she smiles for the camera.

She smiled, kinda embarrassed, and said quietly that when she smiles all her teeth don't show.  Surprised that she's even noticed this, I quickly told her her teeth are beautiful and I love every smile she gives.

Yes, she murmured, but I just think when I smile with my teeth, people will think I'm sss....  She stopped and covered her mouth.

Silly? I completed her sentence.

No.  Her head was ducked and I was strangely confused at this behavior.  She seemed ashamed and I hadn't meant or known that my question would prompt this discussion.  She continued... the word that you don't like us saying, Mama.  Stupid.  I think people would think I'm stupid because all my teeth don't show.

I believe my heart broke right then.  How could she think that?  I'm looking at her and seeing the dearest, sweetest, spunkiest, lovely little 4-year old... and she's afraid of Stupid.  No.  I don't want her seeing Stupid when all I see is Beauty.  Unique Beauty.  Travis, who was sitting across the room, connected eyes with me and whispered, I never knew she thought about it.

Both your smiles are lovely, my Bella.  Everyone's smile is different, and if you feel more comfortable smiling with your mouth closed, that's fine.  But just know that no one thinks you're stupid.  And I love both your smiles best.

She smiled.

And then I took another picture.

a conversation with Bella

Last night, after I finished feeding Rhett, Bella sat next to me, tenderly rubbing his fuzzy head.

"Mama?  I love Rhett so much.  I'm going to be such a good mama to him one day."

I look at her quizzically, wondering if she was serious.  She was.

"Uh, you're not going to be his mama.  I'm his mama.  He's your brother," I corrected.

"Well, I mean, when I grow up, then I'll be his mama."

"Nooo, you're never going to be his mama.  He's just your brother."

"Oh.  Well, I'm going to be such a good mama when I have my own baby one day," she stated.  "Hmmm... I wonder if I'll have a girl or boy!  If I have a girl, I'll probably name her 'Bella,'" she dreamed.

"Really?" I laughed.  "You think you'll name her your own name?  Well, some people do that, I suppose."

"Well, I'm not going to be named Bella when I grow up to be a mama," she gestured to me as if that was the most obvious statement in the world.

"You're not?"  I was confused.  "What's your name going to be?"

"Jenny," she explained, with a silent 'duh' tacked on to the end.  "Jenny Fugler will be my name."

"Hey, there's Rhett Butler!"

Soooo.... Trav took the girls to see Monsters University last night.  The theater's walls are covered with huge photos of famous movies, actors, etc.  As they're walking out, Bella nonchalantly points to one wall and says, "There's Rhett Butler."  And Summer echoes her, "Ya, there's Wet!"

Trav was amazed and made them stand by the wall so he could text me a video.  I thought I'd share it as a timely video after my last comment about no one knowing the name Rhett.  At least my daughters will be well-versed in their literature and know these important names!!  :-)

(While my mom was here, we rented Gone With the Wind [the movie] from the library.  Bella loved all the Southern Belle dresses and then got rather tied into the story line.  She loved that "the man" shared her brother's name.)

for my friend, Tabitha

I have been meaning to write.... but, you know how it goes.  Finally, my friend, Tabitha, wrote me and told me to at least post some pictures!  So here I am.  Time flies when you're sleep deprived, hormonal, a mite overwhelmed having fun!

I did pull out my camera today and tried to play around with some settings and, of course, I used my favorite subjects.  I also ordered a portrait lens (Canon 50mm f1.8) and it should be coming in the mail soon.  I'm super excited about the potential.

For now, enjoy some photos.  Know I'm deeply in love with a little boy, and trying my best to give two little girls the attention they want and need.  Mimi should be arriving in two days, so I'm holding on tight, folks!

 

sweetness

**First off, thank you for all your dear replies of prayer and encouragement on my last post.  I really like you guys.**

A couple of nights ago, Travis came home to find me... tired to the bone, waddling, and half bent over with back pain.  The girls were chattering like little squirrels and screams laughter erupted every few seconds.  He said, "I was thinking of taking them on a Daddy-daughter date Wednesday night."  I'm not sure if he truly was thinking this, or if one look at me and one soundbite from them clued him in to the fact that I would enjoy a Daddy-daughter date even more than they would.  Either way, he's a good man.

We told the girls what to look forward to on Wednesday night, and they were ELATED.  So... I decided to doctor it up a bit.  Bubble bath beforehand, painted nails, Sunday dresses, and even a little bit of Mama's blush.  It was pure sweetness to watch them and hear them gush about how they were "sooooooo excited" to be Daddy's date, to go someplace without Mama, to look beautiful for him.  Bella kept reminding me that I was to stay home, and not go with them.  At one point, I pouted a bit and made a sad face.  Summer, my ever-pleasing daughter quickly reassured me that, Okay, I could go with.  But Bella said firmly, "Well, Mama.  We love you.  But Summer and I really need some alone time with Daddy."

They both felt beautiful, special and I was very thankful for a man whom loves his daughters and takes time to be with them.  We've been realizing that Bella is a quality-time girl.  She's not huge on affection, but time spent with her = love.  So, of course, this was right up her alley.  And she couldn't stop flapping that tongue last night about every detail of their night.  Even when she got up in the middle of the night to potty, I checked on her and she began sharing more details.

And what did I do?  Well, I sat on my duff for about an hour and entertained my company: Peace and Quiet.  Then, I grabbed a soda (another indulgence).  And then, I cleaned.  Like really cleaned.  I'm not sure why that sounded so dreamy - to clean in silence without little hands undoing my work - but it did.  And I felt energized.  And smelling clean bathrooms, kitchen sinks, seeing clean floors and hearing the washer whirr did my pregnant, nesting heart good.

Thanks, babe, for the night out.  For all three of your girls.

emotional, pregnant woman thoughts

Are we ready for Baby #3?  It's a question we get asked often, and we ask ourselves often.  Yes and no.  Actually, this past Friday, at my 38-week checkup, I, all of a sudden, realized, "This is my 38th week.  In two weeks - TWO weeks - we will have another child."  And I realized, I am in no form of hurrying to get this little one out of me.  Yes, it'll be nice to have my body back (in a sense), but this child is coming... and I must enjoy my last days of mothering "only" two.  That said, my mind is whirlwindish thinking of things we must accomplish before another blessing is added to the day-to-day routine.

Travis was gone this past week on a trip.  I pretty much sat on the couch and crossed my legs, willing the baby to not come while Daddy was away.  He obeyed... what a good little chap (or lass).  It was an exhausting week and this weekend has been filled with Travis and I trying to connect: over parenting, over our marriage, over the changes that are about to occur, over tragedy (an Air Force jet crashed on Friday), over the challenges of moving.  May I touch on two of those with you?

OVER PARENTING: Our Bella has been going through a rough phase.  I can't quite put my finger on when it all began, per se, as she's always been head-strong and at times, a tough cookie.  But, lately, it's been draining my energy.  The talking back, the potty talk, the not listening to instructions, etc.  And lately, she has been pulling away from Travis.  Never wanting to be with him, pushing him away when he goes to hug or kiss her, etc.  It's been frustrating, to put it nicely.  I often find myself at my wits end, knowing exactly how to parent this.  I admit, I have not been spending much time in prayer, and I know that therein my problem lies, as only HE knows my daughter fully and wholly, and only HE can give me the wisdom I so desire in how to love her better and point her to Him, ultimately.  This week was a rough one, single parenting.  And yet, when Trav came home Friday night, he was able to see it all very clearly throughout the weekend, what I'm dealing with.  He was able to discipline and give me a break, and also just try and be with her.  If you think of us, please pray for wisdom with that dear girl.

OVER MOVING: Again, I feel drained over this move.  You must think I constantly say "drained", yet it's the exact word to depict what I am.  That empty, wilted, limp rag feeling of just plain tired.  Making friends takes time and energy, the two things that I seem to lack.  We were blessed with knowing three great friends down here already, and I often thank God for those pre-instituted friendships.  I am very content with just knowing them, and I don't have a desire to reach out and meet new folk.  It seems that my days are simply filled with parenting, taking care of house and home, meeting the family's needs.  To go out and meet people?  Make an effort with our church's people?  Exhausting for me.  Yet, I'm trying.  And I often end those times in tears.  I hate the feeling of being new and unknown.  I hate the feeling of being needy for friends.  And especially at this time, when our new baby is so close to making its debut, all I want is familiarity and my old Kansan friends.  I want family nearby.  I want my old neighbors.  My old church.  Fortunately, I married a people-lover, friendly, outgoing guy.... who makes getting out and meeting new folk easier.  But still... if you think of us, please pray for effort, energy, and some amount of extroversion on my end.

Well, this was a rather serious post.  But, me, just the same.  And it's pictureless... So, if you made it this far, know that I appreciate each and every one of you, who makes being social (albeit social media) easier for me and makes me feel still connected, although I mayn't leave the house all day.  Sometimes, technology is a drag.  But sometimes, it's really rather nice, wouldn't you agree?

speaking in metaphors

My eldest has always excelled in language.  She especially likes to speak in metaphors... in relation to how she feels.  Of course, now that I'm sitting down to write this out, all I can think of is the one that she said to me this afternoon.  But, I know I hear these quips all the day long.

She was in the house, grabbing a carrot to snack on.  She came out to the backyard (where I was), rather somber-faced.  "What's wrong, B?" I asked.

"Well, while I was peeling the yucky skin off the carrot, I felt like I was in a ghost's mouth."
"Hm?  What do you mean?"
Shrugging her shoulders, she says, "I'm just trying to say I felt lonely and dark all alone in that house."

+++++++

The girls have been fighting a little more these days, now that Summer is older and stands her ground against bull-headed Bella.  And Bells came to us the other day complaining that Summer hit her.

"Summer, is this true?" we asked her.
"Well, Bella hit my bum!!" she retorted.
"Oh, well, Bella, you can't hit Summer and not expect to be hit back in return."
"Well, she shouldn't hit me!!" Bella cries.
"That's true, but if Summer hit your bum, wouldn't you hit her back too?"
Completely serious, Bella says, "Oh no.  If Summer hit me, I would turn the other cheek."

+++++++

Bella is super curious as to how the baby got inside my belly.  We've always just answered it with, "God put the baby there to grow."  But, a few days ago, she was quite insistent on HOW it got in there???????

"Well... um... it happens when Mamas and Daddies love one another.  And then the baby comes in and grows!" I tried to explain, while my dear and loving husband giggled beside me and offered no advice whatsoever.

"Oh!" she exclaimed.  "Like a seed grows?"

"Yes, exactly.  The baby starts out really small and then grows."

Since that conversation, she's been obsessed with seeds and planting things.  She'll grab all our apple seeds from the apples we eat, march outside and plant them in our dead, weedy area.  Same with lemons, cucumbers, etc.  She can't wait until they're all grown, real big like my tummy.  And yesterday, as we were eating popcorn, she found a few kernels at the bottom of the bowl.

"Oh perfect!! Popcorn seeds!  I'm going to plant these, too, and then we'll have a popcorn tree and that will be the best of all!"