As I was folding my laundry this afternoon, I sat watching Bells color. Her wild and crazy hair was everywhere and beautiful... and I had to capture the moment. She has a very unique beauty to me. Her eye color and hair color and skin color are all that gooey-honey-golden brown that reminds me of warmth and spices and jewels.
I snapped a few shots of her before she asked me to take one of her holding her picture. I noticed, as I have been noticing the past few months, that she smiles with her mouth closed. Wondering why she does, I asked her. I asked why she doesn't show her teeth when she smiles for the camera.
She smiled, kinda embarrassed, and said quietly that when she smiles all her teeth don't show. Surprised that she's even noticed this, I quickly told her her teeth are beautiful and I love every smile she gives.
Yes, she murmured, but I just think when I smile with my teeth, people will think I'm sss.... She stopped and covered her mouth.
Silly? I completed her sentence.
No. Her head was ducked and I was strangely confused at this behavior. She seemed ashamed and I hadn't meant or known that my question would prompt this discussion. She continued... the word that you don't like us saying, Mama. Stupid. I think people would think I'm stupid because all my teeth don't show.
I believe my heart broke right then. How could she think that? I'm looking at her and seeing the dearest, sweetest, spunkiest, lovely little 4-year old... and she's afraid of Stupid. No. I don't want her seeing Stupid when all I see is Beauty. Unique Beauty. Travis, who was sitting across the room, connected eyes with me and whispered, I never knew she thought about it.
Both your smiles are lovely, my Bella. Everyone's smile is different, and if you feel more comfortable smiling with your mouth closed, that's fine. But just know that no one thinks you're stupid. And I love both your smiles best.
She smiled.
And then I took another picture.
She smiled, kinda embarrassed, and said quietly that when she smiles all her teeth don't show. Surprised that she's even noticed this, I quickly told her her teeth are beautiful and I love every smile she gives.
Yes, she murmured, but I just think when I smile with my teeth, people will think I'm sss.... She stopped and covered her mouth.
Silly? I completed her sentence.
No. Her head was ducked and I was strangely confused at this behavior. She seemed ashamed and I hadn't meant or known that my question would prompt this discussion. She continued... the word that you don't like us saying, Mama. Stupid. I think people would think I'm stupid because all my teeth don't show.
I believe my heart broke right then. How could she think that? I'm looking at her and seeing the dearest, sweetest, spunkiest, lovely little 4-year old... and she's afraid of Stupid. No. I don't want her seeing Stupid when all I see is Beauty. Unique Beauty. Travis, who was sitting across the room, connected eyes with me and whispered, I never knew she thought about it.
Both your smiles are lovely, my Bella. Everyone's smile is different, and if you feel more comfortable smiling with your mouth closed, that's fine. But just know that no one thinks you're stupid. And I love both your smiles best.
She smiled.
And then I took another picture.
7 comments:
Oh Bella! You have a BEAUTIFUL smile!
Oh, Bella, with tears in my own eyes I see your smile in your eyes and heart. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Love you, Nana
tears.
I pray along with you in this moment that she hears your voices (and the Lord's!) above any others as she grows - she truly is beautiful. (What I wouldn't give for that hair!)
Bella, you have the most beautiful smile, and when I see you smile, it reminds me how much Jesus love us.
keep smiling, and keep coloring such beautiful pictures, hope to see you soon.
She's has a darling smile and face. You gave such a wise and comforting answer. A gold star for you and Travis. God chose just the right parents for Bella and just the right children for you two.
Beautiful Bella! Keep smiling girl- keep smiling!
Oh Bella. She is such a dear precious girl. As I looked at her first smiling picture before I even read her explanation I noticed that's exactly how my brother smiled and still does. I wonder if his reason for doing so as a child was the same.
Bella you are fearfully and wonderfully made and have nothing to be ashamed of. Keep showing off that gorgeous smile!
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