for my friend, Tabitha

I have been meaning to write.... but, you know how it goes.  Finally, my friend, Tabitha, wrote me and told me to at least post some pictures!  So here I am.  Time flies when you're sleep deprived, hormonal, a mite overwhelmed having fun!

I did pull out my camera today and tried to play around with some settings and, of course, I used my favorite subjects.  I also ordered a portrait lens (Canon 50mm f1.8) and it should be coming in the mail soon.  I'm super excited about the potential.

For now, enjoy some photos.  Know I'm deeply in love with a little boy, and trying my best to give two little girls the attention they want and need.  Mimi should be arriving in two days, so I'm holding on tight, folks!

 

meeting Rhett

Travis and I were so excited for the girls to meet Rhett.  We had talked about him for so long and dreamed about who he would be that we couldn't wait to share in their joy over meeting their new sibling.  We knew Summer would be OVER THE MOON.  She had adamantly held to the fact that it was her "baby bruddah" in Mama's tummy, and being the baby-lover that she is, her reaction was spot on: PURE ADORATION.  From the moment she burst into my recovery room, she shot straight to Rhett and begged to hold him.  She didn't want to share holding time and practically swallowed him whole.  And it's been the same ever since: she wants to see him first thing in the morning, begs to hold him, loves to boink his nose and pet his head and shake his hands and talk in a high, squeaky voice to him.  This girl has the word "maternal" defined.  For example:

Bella I was bit more unsure of.  At times, she would seem excited about the baby in my tummy, and at others, completely nonchalant.  When she entered the recovery room, it was warily.  Noticing me in the bed, she quickly came to my side and wanted to know if I was hurting and where and why, etc.  She stayed by my side the entire time and kept eyeing me, making sure I was still the same Mama.  When offered Rhett, she denied him.  Showed no desire to look at him, much less hold him.  Rather, she stayed near my bed and drew me pictures on her special notepad. Her reaction didn't surprise me, as she is my child who is more hesitant to love and show affection.  I knew that Rhett would capture her heart one day soon and there was no need to rush unfelt feelings.

The next day, we made it home in the late afternoon.  Again, Summer nearly attacked us at the door, begging to hold her baby.  Again, Bella showed no interest.  It wasn't until later, as I finished a nursing session with Rhett and he was lying, sleepily drunk on my lap, that she wandered over and sat near me.  His eyes went to her and his little hands involuntarily reached towards her.  Her face lit with awe, as she whispered, "Mama!  He's looking at me!  He touched me!"  And then, a little while later, "Can I hold him, Mama?"

Since then, she's been in love.  She studies him and cares for him.  She will be fiercely protective, I just know.  Such a loved little boy... is it possible to feel any more blessed or thankful?

The transition has been our easiest thus far.  Oh, of course the beginning is always difficult - getting used to less sleep, another being in the home, baby gear EVERYWHERE, etc.  But, really, third time's the charm.  And...... 'tis 9 o'clock.  Which means my eyes are drooping and the house needs picking up and I need readying for bed.  Goodnight, dear Reader.

Our boy

Rhett James

born on May 24, 2013 @ 2:13 pm

8 lbs 6 oz

20 1/2 in

Our birth story is beautiful and I will always remember it fondly.  I'll share snips of it with you quickly, before my little man wakes and the girls want another book read and dinner is to be eaten and... well, you get the picture.

Trav and I went in at 5 a.m. Friday morning to begin the inducement, and right as we arrived, I had my first contraction.  Fifteen minutes later, another one.  So, instead of beginning the pitocin, my doctor agreed to let me labor on my own for a bit before he broke my water.  I informed him of my fast previous labors, along with the fact that I was already 3-4 cm dilated and he was super willing to let me have my way.  Great doctor!  Around 9 a.m., my water was broken and the painful contractions began to come quickly.  You know, the kind that make you think getting a large needle stuck in your spine sounds like a perfectly splendid idea.  After my epidural was given, things relaxed.  I napped, Trav watched ESPN and did some homework... and around 1:30, I measured 8 cm.  Half an hour later, I felt the incredible urge to push ... and three contractions later, my SON was born.

I've always wanted a surprise, and boy, did I get my surprise with this boy!!!  Trav and I have been pretty convinced we're having a third girl since my 20-week ultrasound when we thought we saw little lady-parts on our child.  There have been some points when I thought/felt "boy"... but then my mind would go back to what I "saw" in the ultrasound and I would think "girl."  We had our nurse all antsy about the sex of the baby when we told her we had two little ladies at home and felt nearly 100% sure that our third was a girl.  As I began to push, she looked at Trav and said, "You tell Jenny what the baby is, okay?"

Minutes later, as Rhett emerged with a final, giant push (and yell!), I heard our nurse gasp, "No way!!"... and then I heard my husband exclaim, with much gusto, "IT'S A BOY!!"  And I broke into tears.  I'm not sure why... as I knew another daughter would have been my absolute joy.  The best way I can describe what I felt is two-part:

(1) I so desperately wanted a surprise.  I practically "knew" I was having a girl.  Rhett was the best, most-perfect surprise.  JUST what I had wanted.  Such a gift.

(2) I knew that, boy or girl, I wanted the child inside of me.  Whomever, however s/he was made.  What I didn't know was that, all along, he was Rhett.  I didn't know how badly I wanted Rhett.  And then... I birthed him.  And held him.  And he was mine - a gift from God.  So undeserved and so perfect in every way.

Travis and I were in awe and shock the rest of our stay - we still are.  He is our little love.  The girls... well, they have their own story and I'll share it soon, as time allows.  As for now, thank you thank you THANK YOU for all the well wishes, prayers and words of congratulations.  And thank you for letting me share my gift with you.

the "M" word

I have two "M" words for ya: Mastitis & Medicine.  Let's start with the first "M" word, shall we?

Mastitis:  Oh.My.Owie.  Yep, came down with this lovely infection yesterday morning.  My day wasn't complete without a 102 fever, chills, nausea, and an incredible amount of pain.  Got worse through the night, which forced my husband to take the morning off of work to care for our girls.  It was terrible.  I would never wish that on anyone.  Which brings me to my next "M" word...

Medicine:  I called my OB this morning and the dear man listened to my symptoms and called in antibiotics for me.  I've only taken two doses today, but I'm already feeling better.  The fever has broken, I was able to take an hour and a half nap this afternoon, and although I'm still slow and achey, I can feel my health coming back.  Growing up with a pharmacist for a father, I've never been opposed to medicine, but it's certain that in times like these, I love the darn stuff.

Medicine, pt. 2:  While Trav took the girls to the local pharmacy, they also picked me up other "medicines." Like some "Trojan" roses:

(Trojan, because the colors are Cardinal and Gold, like USC Trojans...)  :-)

And Bella came tromping in from the car, flung this packet on my lap and said, "Mama!  We got your medicine!!"  Enjoy the clip.


(And yes, that's a huge tub of candy that Trav's opening...)

mom-blogging

I'm at it again.  Just when I thought I was semi-over the Mom-blog hump, and could think of more exciting thought-provoking things to blog about, I went and had myself a baby.  And now my thoughts are once again consumed with:
(a) feeding schedules
(b) laundry
(c) diaper changing
(d) eating habits
(e) wondering if today is a good day to shower??
(f) pondering the quantum physics of how people go about life normally with TWO children???

Oh well... that's my life these days and I'll take it rather than leave it.  So, if you'll all plug through the trenches with me of early babyhood... I'll come out on top in the end.  I love being a Mama, but sometimes, I can have a difficult time with how it changes my brain.  God is good to stretch me in these ways.  I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone, and there certainly is no comparison to having a child.

I'm open to blogging topics!  Anyone have any requests??  Any sparks to get this Mama-brain moving??

No-Soda-May

Many of you have heard of "No-Shave-November" or "Mustache-March"... well, Trav and I are doing our own monthly challenge. Welcome to "No-Soda-May." What a heartache for me. I've always loved soda - the cool, crisp bubbles tickling my throat and such sweetness on my taste buds! (I have such a sweet tooth, it's ridiculous.) During the last part of my pregnancy, I CRAVED soda -- all the time. And I indulged myself. Needless to say, that started a very bad habit for me. One that I'm trying to kick away by this "No-Soda-May" month. So far, I've obeyed, and I can even say that the craving is not as strong as a mere 7 days ago.

I'm also hoping this new area of self-control will aide me in losing my last 12 pregnancy pounds! The weight fell off in the beginning, but the last part's been sticking to me for over 8 months now! I'm ready to be done with it - "Away with you, blasted 12 lbs!" I've sorta (aka: most of the time) come to grips with the fact that my body has changed and will never be pre-baby Jenny, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying to harden my tummy up and wishing I'll one day fit into my old pants again. For all you who've birthed children, you *likely* know my frustration... it's not so much the fact that I'm wearing bigger clothes... it's just that even the bigger clothes don't fit right. My body's just changed and I can't exactly put a finger on which part, or else I'd know how to find the right clothes. Humph! Anyways, you might be able to tell that I'm getting ready for vacation, because those old bathing suits aren't doing much for my self-image here...

one of those days

Ughhhhhh... I'm so tired today. Ever since I woke up to feed Bella at 5:30, it's been one of those days where your eyes feel like bricks are hanging off of them. Sorry, Bella dear, that I seem to slump around the house. I can't figure out anything fun to do today so I've stuck her in the Jumperoo for hours. We did go on a walk, but that was exhausting.

So, I'm also *trying* (I use that word loosely) to shed those extra 10 lbs. from my pregnancy that seem to hang on. I can't find a good time to exercise, other than daily walks, so I've really been aiming on eating less amounts and eating lots of veggies and protein. Here's my menu so far today:

- cereal

- Snickers bar

- piece of pizza

- bowl of ice cream

I know, I know, I know!! I'm awful.

I think it's just one of those days.

Post-baby blues

I've been having a rather difficult time coping with the aftermath of pregnancy and giving birth. I knew that things weren't going to magically spring back into normalcy... but I guess, by evaluating my emotions and feelings, I hoped they would.

Especially in the clothing/body department. What happened to my flat, little tummy?? Or why don't my pants fit me anymore? Where did these hips come from? I'm tired of wearing my maternity pants, but my other pants just don't seem to like me anymore. Muffin top, anyone?? Kate told me to go buy larger-sized pants that I could wear in this transition phase. I tried.... and after trying up to 5 sizes larger than my pre-baby size, I gave up and stormed out of the store.

Exercise is another area. I tried to go for a jog. Ya... I complete about 1/4 of a mile before I died! And trying to do sit-ups (my area of forte pre-baby)... ummm, do I even know how to sit up without someone pulling my arm and helping me??

And many more areas... all you moms out there know. It's like I have to begin everything from ground zero and build up. Very frustrating and I'm just not motivated. I think mostly I'm just stubborn - I look at a size L and think, "I'm not a large! I'm a small... and I won't put on anything else until I fit into all my old clothes." So... you can imagine my extensive wardrobe.

I don't know why I'm going on and on about this. Just feeling the frustration.

----

P.S. I'm not necessarily wanting to be like celebrities... the picture just showed what I talking about. :-)

finally...

For the first time in a very long time -- nearly 11 months -- I've felt like my old self again... finally!! Travvy and I went rollerblading, Bella tagging along in her jogging stroller. And we certainly had a blast. Trav and I used to roller blade all the time in Columbus, during our pilot training days, and it just felt so good and normal to be young and free and active again. :-) I'm sure as we flew by everyone sitting on their front porches we looked like dorks, but we think they all secretly wish that they could steal some moments away to act like kids, too.

baby.announcements

I got my a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e. baby announcements in the mail the other day. As you might remember, they are magnets and oh.so.cute!!! We slapped one up on our fridge right off and have loved looking at our little Bella girl's rump. :-)

Magnet Street was amazing to work with and I'd recommend them to any of you having babies, getting married, etc. I ordered them one day and got them about 5 days later. I love the quality and even my husband said, "These are top notch!" as soon as we received them.

Babies are too much fun...

sleep deprivation and adoration...

Ohhhh... how I love little Bella, but it comes at a great cost: my love of sleep! I think this is the factor that makes me cry the most: how much I miss my sleep. Not that I was getting a great amount in this last month of pregnancy, but still... when I'm sleepless (or getting less than I need) I'm such an emotional wreck. You all can pray for me in that area - bodily and emotional strength on whatever sleep the Lord provides.

We've had a rough past couple of days. First off, I had quite a scare the other day. I would love to go into detail, but it could get pretty graphic... so basically, let's just say that I found out that while the doctors stitched me up, they left a roll of gauze inside of me - and it had to be removed pronto. Ouchie. I was a mess after that. Then they called me back the next day saying I had to come in to get antibiotic shots to counteract possible infection --- in the rear end. :-( Does the discomfort ever end??

Bella's been coming down with some infections too... her mouth is all raw and red and sore inside, making feeding virtually impossible. We had to go meet with the speech pathologist at the hospital, and she was very helpful, trying to aid us in finding other feeding methods. I was so teary seeing my little baby girl trying to be fed by a syringe-like nipple, a little communion-like cup, etc. I hate seeing her struggle just to do a simple act like eating. She is such a fighter, though, and has a very strong spirit, already, to survive. She tries everything we offer her with such gusto. I'm so proud of her.

Otherwise, love abounds in the Fugler house. We love to stare and love on little Bella June. My dad arrived last night and the 5 of us are enjoying each others' company mucho! Many hands make light work... I know soon I will be with Bella by myself and I will need to lean on the Lord for all my strength.
Just a quick picture of Hazel. She's been good around Bella... just kinda ignores her. But she still loves to reside in Bella's amenities: the stroller, the rocker, on her blankets, etc. She's a good kitty. :-)
We covet your prayers.... thank you all for lifting us up to the Father of Lights, who never sleeps or slumbers.

How come nobody told me??

Okay, so I knew labor was going to be hard and hellish, and I even knew that pregnancy was not the most comfortable experience to be had, but I've never really heard complaints about the recovery period!! Oh my word... I've been struggling through these past 5 days just to sit, walk, lie down. Giving birth is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. I can get so emotional, because I guess I just imagined bouncing back to my old, pre-preggo self after little Bella came, and now I feel worse off than before! I know the day will come when life will seem "normal" again, but when??

Life has been slow and fast lately. The days go by in three hour increments and yet all we seem to be doing is lounging around the house. I'm enjoying my time with Mom, Travis and Bella, though... and life is good. I feel so behind on y'all's life, I haven't really sat down at the computer for long bouts of time like I've been used to!

And because I know you all want more pics, here are some recents shots of life...

for my 24th birthday...

...my milk came in! Yay!! I was able to successfully feed Bella with no formula - a big accomplishment for me. :-)

We're doing well... tired, but so happy with life. Trav is watching the SDSU vs. Notre Dame game with Bella in his arms - they are inseperable! My birthday is today and Mom and Travvy have been spoiling me... I feel so loved.

Where else would I want to be? I have my favorite people surrounding me.