Miss Erika

Our long-time babysitter-turned-good friend got hitched yesterday.  She is one of the sweetest, most genuine souls I know.  Our whole family adores her.  Bella was asked to be her flower girl.  The wedding was a beautifully accurate portrayal of love and purity.  *sigh*  I love weddings.  Every time I go to one, it makes me want to get married all over again.

I brought my camera.  But, obviously, as we can tell, I am still having trouble shooting indoors.  I'm not sure what settings to put it on and what the shutter speed/ISO/aperture should all be set at.  I need to take some classes.

Irregardless of my nasty, indoor camera skills, we enjoyed ourselves immensely.  We reserved a babysitter for Summer (since the wedding was right in the afternoon... i.e. NAP TIME) and were a little more free to be guests, instead of parents.  Trav concluded that we should attend a wedding at least once a year.  They are such great reminders of why we married in the first place, and what we have vowed to one another.  I concur.

I hope your weekend was special and beautiful as well!  Enjoy the rest of the Lord's Day.

a review: Anna's cookies

I have this dear little friend.  She (and our other sidekick) and I were inseparable in High School.  She's the epitome of the stereotypical Californian girl: long, thick, shiny, (natural!) white-blonde hair; athletic and outdoorsy; just enough hippie to be cool.  She's funny and come to find out, she's rather creative too.

She has a blog... and she's just started this "series" where she puts her love of baking into action.  Every first Wednesday of the month, she'll state a genre of baking (September's genre was cookies!!) and if you leave a comment with your favorite of that genre, you've entered yourself into a giveaway where she'll pick a winner and bake their favorite and then mail it to them!!  Well... guess who won September's giveaway??  ME!!!  (Granted, there was only 5 or so entries, but I won!!!).

This was clothepinned  to the twine that wrapped around my box.
So clever and quaint.

My sweet package arrived in the mail today, and of course, I broke right into it before thinking to photograph the cuteness.  But, I remembered half-way through, as shavings of the cookies going down my gullet were beginning to cover my counter tops.  Here's just a peek:

The darlingly wrapped cookies...

I know, I'm an awful photographer...
but the cookies were in perfect condition,
and still soft!

Of course, she remembered my girls and wrapped their own cookie separately.
Bella commented, after indulging in hers,
"Anna sure does love me!"

We all enjoyed our cookies, Anna!!  Here's proof from the girls' faces:

So... readers.  Hope on over to Anna's blog on the first Wednesday of every month.  I'll drop a hint in October to remind you.  And maybe you too could be the lucky recipient of Anna's "You Bake Me Happy" giveaway!!  Thanks, Anna.  You da bomb diggity.

good bye

Vivianne with her kiddos.

Good bye, sweet friend.

I am weeping for you today.

Death is so cruel.

Halloween 2009
How I remember my friend.

Vivianne's update
Update 2
Update 3

Vivianne

I read the news this morning that Vivianne doesn't have much time to live.

I sensed that prognosis when we had her husband for dinner a few weeks back.

But I heard it for reals today.  Maybe a month.  Maybe she'll make it to New Year's.



I was going to write about how I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of cloth diapering.
Or how I am excited/nervous about cooking my 1st turkey.
Or how I have too many crazy things to get done before family arrives.

But, in the grand scheme of things, all those things don't really seem that important.  Because...
I have my health.
I have my children.
I have my husband and family.
True, no one knows the day or time when Death will knock, but in the foreseeable future, I have all these blessings.

While my old neighbor and friend is clinging to every last second of life.  Clinging to the last moments to be with her almost-3-year old and almost-1-year old.  I can't help but reminisce about our conversations:
+ elation over finding out we both were pregnant -- then finding we were both having girls!
+ walks around the neighborhood
+ times at the park
+ b-b-qing together while our kids played outside

Life is so sweet.  And hard.  God, in this week of thanks, I thank you for life.  But more importantly, life in You, where there is no death.

so, i met a guy...

... and he gave me a tremendous gift.

This guy's name is Tray.  Tray Berry.  He is a stay-at-home dad to three great kids.  His wife is an active-duty airman, whose family we met and befriended down in Alabama.  During one of our many chats whilst at the park, he reveals that he loves photography.

In fact, just before he moved to Alabama for the six weeks, he stopped receiving clients.  He was too busy with homeschooling his children and shooting photos for charity with his church, friends and family.  He wanted to love photography and not be burnt out by it.

He offered to take my girls and I for a walk one afternoon and capture some moments for us.  Just for fun, because I love doing it, he said.  For free, because you're friends.  Sounded like fun.  I had no idea...

... the talent.
... the beauty.
... the magic.

All photo credits to
Tray Berry

Like I said, a tremendous gift.  If you want to see the rest of the shoot, click over to his blog here.

the Little's update

About a month ago, I posted about this family: the Little's, whose father came down with bacterial meningitis.  He survived, but is eternally reminded of that dark time in his life with his blindness.  Here is a local news clip and article.  Read it, and please, pray for these family friends of ours.  They are a strong testament to God's grace and peace in turmoil.

Here's the link to the article.

beseeching

Some of you have asked about my friend, Vivianne.  She was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer about 5 months ago.  She is near my age and has two kiddos - Bella's and Summer's age.  She was my neighbor and fellow military spouse.  As much as it can be expected, things are going "well."  Her chemo treatments and radiation has diminished some of the cancer and have brought her state from Stage 4 down to Stage 3 cancer.  Her husband was able to be re-assigned to Florida, to be near the cancer treatment and now, their family of four is battling this awful disease together.  They are still clinging to hope.

Vivianne and her sweet 2-year old.

Just yesterday, we heard more disturbing news about good friends of ours within our church.  A family - much like ours - married the year before we did, two small children, local policeman.  They received unexpected news just a few weeks ago that a darling baby was ready for adoption.  Rushing to the hospital, they loved her and began the adoption process, amidst the unpreparedness.  Just ten days later, Shane (the father/husband) came down with an awful fever.  After a few days of this, he was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and has been diagnosed with bacterial meningitis.  He was given a 20% chance of living.  The infection is widespread in his brain and has potential to spread even further.  As of now, he is finally conscious (after being unconscious for a few days), blind, and forgetful.  Last night, we heard the news that his life may be nearing it's end.  Our hearts were so heavy and I could barely do anything but beseech the Lord to spare our friend's life.  His life is teeter-tottering and one's not sure whether to hope or prepare for the worst.

Shane and Amanda with their NEW (2 weeks old) adopted daughter.
Days before Shane was infected.

In times like these, that seem so very hard to understand or grasp what's really happening, I find myself experiencing a myriad of thoughts/feelings.  "Why??" is always a big question.
Why them?
Why now?
Why not me?
Why so young?

I know that people die.  It's a fact of life.  And I know that many people die young.  And I know that beautiful things can come out of death.  But, still, I beseech the Lord for these people's lives.  When I pray, I remember this story in 2 Kings 20:1-7:
In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him and said to him, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die; you shall not recover.’” Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, saying, “Now, O Lord, please remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly. And before Isaiah had gone out of the middle court, the word of the Lord came to him: “Turn back, and say to Hezekiah the leader of my people, Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will heal you..."

And I pray that He'll hear our prayers.

the girls

(Rachel, Kay, Bella, Summer, Lisa, Claire, Freya, me - 

the angle is just plain bad for my figure...)

You ever hung out in a house with eight females??  

Quite fun, if I do say so myself.

Talking,

Eating (no sugar for me, though.  Poo.)

Laughing.

Nurturing babes.

Talking.

Sun-bathing.

Quite fun.

I'll be back when they're gone.

A week is never enough time...

the best medicine

Last night, I was able to go out with some friends for dinner.  Besides delicious food and no children to help feed, it was one of the best nights I've had in awhile.  I'm pretty sure we all laughed for about three hours straight.

In college, all my friends were funny.  Seriously, I think I laughed my way through college - they were the best four years.  Since then, I've made many other friends, equipped with other amazing qualities, but it's been hard to duplicate what we had in college.  But last night was a close representation.  Oh my... I forgot how much I love to laugh... and what a treasure a funny person is.  I like dry, witty humor... and my oh my, it was there last night.  :-D

Just had to share... I came home feeling so light and happy.  Laughter truly is the best medicine!

the Never-ending story

Hello friends.

I feel like I've been a blogger slacker lately.  February has been a great month, filled with family and friends.  On the flip side, I am sorely lagging in the following areas:
- cleaning
- meal planning
- returning phone calls/emails
- exercising
- spending time in the Word

Ugh.  I feel as though the list is mountainous and I don't even know where to begin.  In fact, I have begun the cleaning process quite a few times, but as soon as I do, the house is filthy again.  And the meal planning... well, that's never been my area of forte.  Returning phone calls/emails??  Oh... I just don't feel quite like talking when I have my few moments of silence.  And don't even get me started on exercise... I know, I know.  Lastly, I always want to spend more time with my Lord, but lately, my time with Him has been nonexistent.  And I hate it.

So, that's a bit of my mind/life.  Just keeping it real.  Anyone else struggling with these areas?!?!?

On a lighter note, I mentioned February has been filled with friends... yes!  My friend, Lindsey, is back in town for a couple weeks.  Remember Allie, Bella's BFF?  We've been enjoying many days with them and it has been splendid.  Linds and I have to play referee between our 2 and 3-year old girls, but on the whole, we're loving our time.

And today the temps were in the 60's (Ahhh... bliss!) so we were able to bask in the sunlight while the girls played...

... and Jake ate sand.  :-)  Such a big boy!  The last time I saw him he was only 5 weeks old.

Meanwhile, little Summer sat with us women on the porch, enjoying her first REAL sun-experience.  Poor winter babies, they just get no warmth!!  Anyhoo, yesterday Summer had her 2-month check up and she's now a whoppin' 10 lbs. 3 oz. and 22 in. long.  She lands in the 28th percentile for weight, height, and head circumference.  I love this sweetie-pie.  Do I say that enough???

you can't have him

Him, meaning my husband.

First off, I completely agree that this is a terrible picture of me and should not be posted to the internet.  I was trying to get rid of my new friend: my double chin.  That's what's with the chin-thrust and all.  And yes, we had just woken up.  But... I've lost all sense of pride these last few weeks: clothes don't fit, my face is getting chubby, and I just want to sit and eat more sugar.  So... whatever.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Lisa is here.  Lisa, my very dear friend from college.  My freshman, junior, and senior year roommate.  Lisa, the one from our [meaning Trav & me] love story.  Lisa, the one that convinced me to give Travis a go... Lisa, my dear, dear Lisa.

And Trav planned it all.  Knew that I'd want someone to keep me company for a bit while he's off traversing the world.  Planned it in advance, kept it hidden and secret, and made the journey fun for me and something to look forward to all week long.

So, no, you can't have my husband - even though he is the best.  But here's a tip for all you single ladies out there (not that I really have any idea what I'm talking about... or how I quite landed this hunk of a man...):

Marry someone that astounds you - that truly knocks your socks off.  'Cuz, while it's true that life gets hard, and sometimes you marry a military man who is gone 80% of the time and works 14 hours days, and then you go to bed wondering who you married and where the heck is he??, and while it's true that life can get complicated and things don't always go the way you imagined they would...
... chances are, if you marry someone that astounds you, he'll continue to astound you if you just open your eyes and let him.  And most of the time, you won't have to open your eyes too widely to realize how astounding a gift he really is.

long-time friend

This lady is coming to visit me.  Don't ask me what I'm doing.  We were in high school when this was taken, so all is excused, right?  We were best of buds back in those days... then college rolled around and we went our separate ways.  Keeping in touch through some phone calls, a few visits, and email.... gradually drifted to not much contact.  Life gets in the way, you know?  But, I was in her wedding, she came to mine.  And that was the last time we saw one another.  Thank GOODNESS for facebook and blogs!  Via the internet, we've been able to watch each other's adventures and grow, our daughters be born and us become mothers.

And she's coming to visit ME this afternoon.  For four days.  I'm pumped.  I'm thrilled.  I just hope Bella behaves and doesn't bully her sweet daughter, who is 1 year and 3 days younger than Bells.  I really hope.  I'm crossing my fingers.  Yes, that's really her daughter.  Can you even stand it?!?!?

Anyways, more pictures and stories to come later!!  Ciao!

contentedness

While I was up north a couple weeks ago, visiting my girls from college, we had a couple of great conversations about being content with our lot in life.  We are all at different spots since graduating:

- Four are married.
- Three are married with children.
- Two with one more on the way.
- Two are working full-time DIFFICULT jobs.
- One is single and wanting to be married.
- Two of us have felt more lonely this past year than ever before in life.
- Two love their church.
- Two struggle greatly with their church.
- ALL FIVE OF US struggle with wanting more in life and feeling like "If I just could change this..." life would be better.
(Six of those nine points are me)

While sympathizing, empathizing, and crying with one another, we came to two conclusions early on in the conversation:
1. We were not made for this world.  Meaning, we were made for something greater than this world can satisfy!  There is a life beyond the one on this spinning planet - whether you choose to deny that or not - and it will be spent in either Paradise or Eternal Agony.  Knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that Paradise is my destination, due to the almighty grace of our Jesus, the fact that this world cannot satisfy every longing of mine is somewhat comforting.  Easing my mind, it assures me that my unhappiness at times is not based on Travis' lack of performance, or Bella's stubbornness, or my apathy.  While all these can be contributing factors, the fact is that NOTHING can or ever will TRULY satisfy me - wholly and deeply - while I'm breathing on this planet.  And that's freeing, in some odd way, to me.  I quote C.S. Lewis:
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

2. If then, we were made for something greater than this world, we have two choices in how we live: we can mope about, waiting to die so we can be free of sin and the cares of this world; or we can choose to have joy, choose to be content with what we've been given, choose to make the most and (dare I say?) love the lot of our life.  Easier said than done, yes.  But really.  Contentedness is a choice.  One that I don't often make, but I LONG to make.  I want to be content.  I want to know that the circumstances and the environment don't change my joy.  I have a deep-seated reason for joy that goes beyond fleeting emotions.  I must choose to base my contentedness on that Joy.

***

Clicking through my blog archives, I found some sweet videos of Bella near Christmastime.  My eyes could caress that sweet body, bald head, her elementary motor skills over and over all night long.  Was she really that little once?  Did she really have no hair (uhh... actually, this one is still fresh in my memory)?  Yet, while I watched them, I felt that same, odd sense of nostalgia creep over me.  I remembered what was happening in our lives during that time: Travis was serving his third deployment of the year; the days were dark, lonely, and long; I was running low on energy as a single parent and felt frustrated too often with our babe and my situation in life.


And I felt sad.  Sad that I had possibly missed this cuteness of her life because I was tired.  And unhappy with my lot.  And overwhelmed.  And then I thought about now: how I'm tired, and often overwhelmed, and struggle with our lot in the military.  And I was reminded of our conversation about contentedness.  And I was again motivated to choose contentedness and joy.  I don't want to miss out on the millions of precious moments that will all too soon pass me by... and all that will be left is pictures and snippets of our youth, of our children's youth, of our "easy days."  They'll float right through my fingertips and the feelings of bitterness will remain.  Oh God, I don't want that.

i'm baaaaack

Arrived home L.A.T.E. last night after 12 hours of traveling (ridiculous weather issues...) from spending a fantastic weekend with these lovely ladies:

These women were my joy in college, my roommates, my sisters.  We've fought, disagreed, differed on theology and the economy - but, we love one another deeply.  No one can make me laugh like these girls, feel accepted and known like these girls, and no one makes my northern accent quite so pronounced as these girls.  "Don't yoo knoh??"

I missed my husband and little girl like crazy, though.  Seeing her this morning made my heart so full.  And her vocabulary has seemed to expand exponentially these last four days while I was gone!  Is that possible??  The first thing she said to me this morning after Trav went and retrieved her from her room and brought her to snuggle with us??  "Mama!  Hi!  Daddy has boobies!"  And she proudly showed me under the covers.  Yes... she's a joy.  :-)

For today, we're both content to hang at the house while tidying up a few chores:
- laundry
- unpacking
- mopping
- etc.

I feel tired, exhausted, fatigued, easily dizzified (a classic word for being dizzy), ready for a nap at all hours of the morn.  My tummy feels as if it's growing bigger by the day and I remember all too clearly the heavy feeling of being 41 weeks preggo.  But, tomorrow is my 12-week appointment, and I'm thrilled I'll be able to hear the heartbeat.

ho-hum

It's been one of those weeks.  The ones where I haven't seen my husband much, my daughter has been pushing limits and I've found myself losing my patience too quickly.  The ones where I just want to yell, "STOP!!" and have the world stop spinning, get a couple weeks of time with just our family to reconnect, talk, work through differences, parent together, pray together, love.

And even though I know that's not physically possible, I've still been throwing fits all week long.  Mini-pity parties.  Not pretty.  Mostly only known to my husband, God, and me.  But still... not pretty.  Ugh.  And while I know I should "Buck up, cowboy," I'm just not quite sure how to keep going about life when I feel so far behind and in need of a good break.  Any suggestions?

On top of this, 75% of the street we live on is moving within the next two months.  No joke.  Maybe more like 80%.  I wish you could know our street: B-B-Q's happening all around, people always out and about, babysitting by monitor-watching, such tight-knit community like I've never known.  These are my very best friends here.  I know, I know - such is the life of a military wife.  Stupid cliches like that never help one feel better.  So, I guess I'm saying that I feel left behind - in life, in relationships, in every sense of the word.  If you see me with red eyes, just know that I've been crying.  I'm a typical emotional woman when it comes to weeks like this.

*

On a lighter note, here are a couple fun pictures.  

Allie (Bella's BFF down the street) came over today for a bit.  They're moving in a mere ten days so we are soaking up our time together.  These two girls love/hate each other.  They ask about one another ALL.DAY.LONG and then, when they finally see each other (which they do -every day), they have a difficult time sharing, being respectful to one another, and such.  But, they also can make each other belly laugh - which is a blessed sight.  Here Allie is being silly and Bella's on the ground cracking up.

I moseyed around Hobby Lobby this morning with my lil' side kick to hopefully spark some creative juices.  It did.  Hobby Lobby has never once let me down.  I love that store.  I printed out their 40% off coupon before going and found these to liven up Bella's play area: $7.99 for all three (not including my coupon discount):

I hung them by myself, using string and a staple gun.  Now that I step back a bit and look, they might be a tad too clustered, but I'll leave it for the time being.  It's possible to add a light on the inside, but I just appreciate the spheres of bright green (that matches my green wall opposite from it!).

After we rearranged our living space a couple weeks back, we made a "play area" for Bella, which just includes her coloring table, baskets and baskets of books, and toy chest.  It's organized, but still kid friendly, which I really appreciate.  I want to find some sort of way I can organize the books better... I'm still brainstorming.

So that's me in a nut shell.  Or a lengthy blog post.  Thanks for coming and reading - the good, bad, and ugly.

friendly competition

A little Easter Egg hunt was held on base Saturday morning.  All kids ages 5 and under were invited to search for the hundreds of non-obscurely placed eggs thrown haphazardly in the grassy softball field.  We met up with Bella's BFF, Allie, and her family and enjoyed the slight respite in the *stinky* weather we've been having, for a beautifully sunny, spring morning.

The girls each got a sticker for finding the eggs and both decided the best place to put them would be on their foreheads.  Naturally.

The Easter Bunny hopped on over for a visit, and while both girls were rather timid on their own, holding hands seemed to help a bit - until they got too close.  Quick, forced hugs were sufficient.

A park was nearby and we meandered over, waiting until the last possible minute for the awful weather to set in and push us inside.  The girls enjoyed a swing ride together - seriously, they were in that thing for 30+ minutes!  And completely content... Lindsey and I decided it could be our new babysitting technique.

The dad's *might* have been getting a little bored just watching the kids swing and chit-chatting, so a friendly competition arose.  Swing Jumping.  You know, the thing you do in third grade and then get in trouble for by the yard duty?  Ya... Well, Travis was winning for the most part, but at the very end, Rob came back and beat him.  I think they jumped a total of 136 times.  Each.  Here's a quick video, just in case you were curious what grown military men look like at this serious sport:

girlfriends

We have a sweet little neighbor girl down the street whom Bella absolutely adores. I mean, I just say her name and Bella will beam and begin chanting "Ah-ee, Ah-ee" (Allie, Allie) until we actually go see the girl! Allie is 9 months her senior, but those two are two peas in a pod. It's precious and I love their friendship. It's a bonus that both sets of parents are good friends too. Have I mentioned how much I loooove our street that we live on???

Allie got to come over and play today while her mom got some cleaning done... Bella was thrilled and I was more than happy to provide a warm place out of the chilling weather (-16* F today, people!) for the girls to play. They laughed, sat and listened to music (top picture: looks like they're watching TV - nope! Just listening to music.), took care of the baby dolls, fought (like all good friends), and laughed some more. It was a pleasant morning.

Sadly these friends of ours are moving in just 3 short months to Belgium. *sigh* Such is life in the military. We treasure the friendships while we can... and make the most of every day.



girlfriends from Jenny Fugler on Vimeo.

some pix

(All of us: Kay, Lisa, me, Bella, Rachel, Claire & Jonas. Photo compliments of Rachel)

Sadly, I only took about 8 pictures... and these were the only ones that were blog-worthy. I don't know how I didn't get any of Kay and Claire (Jonas' mom). Bummer. Rachel is a photographer and took many awesome photos, so I'm still waiting for her to send us copies of her shots. We got a couple group pix and they turned out pretty well. All in all, it was a wonderful trip. Great time reconnecting with old buddies, although I have to say it's a WAAAAY different experience hanging out as a mom than just a single gal. :-)

(Jonas and Bella)

(Lisa and Rachel)

(Jonas and Lisa)

my girls...

See all these lovely photos? Aren't we all so attractive? Ahhh... my friends. We just had such a blast in college. Multiple camping trips, competitive card games, lounging around, road trips... we were certainly a fun group. I miss those girls.

Annnndddd.... TODAY I'm leaving on a jet plane to have our annual get-together! We have met up every year since we graduated and this is 2009's weekend! I'm so pumped. I feel in great need of LAUGHTER (which there certainly will be), GIRL TIME (which is inevitable), STORY TELLING (how can there not be with pictures like these??), SOUL SHARING AND PRAYER (which just comes naturally with these women).

Thank you, Lord, for these gals!