"I'm a bad mom" story

At 8 o'clock a.m. sharp, after thirteen and a half hours of sleep, her sweet, sing-songy voice chirped lightly over the monitor.  "Mama.  Ka-Ee.  All gone.  Hi.  Eye.  No." etc... she talked with herself for a couple minutes before I rose to fetch her.  She sounded happy and hopefully healthier than yesterday.  Yesterday was a bad day - filled with high fevers; hoarse, raspy coughs; green snot; exhausted eyes.

I knocked on her door before I entered.  She loves when I do.  I'll wait until I hear a responding "knock-knock-knock" on her crib slats, and then walk in.  A little game just between Mama and baby.

"Hi baby!" I whisper to my sweet doll.

"HI!"  She quickly grabs her beloved kitty under one arm, before reaching up the other arm towards me.  Feeling her forehead, I notice she's not very warm.  Thank You, God! I mentally pray.

Chit-chatting together over her diaper change, I feel a surge of hope that the sickness - whatever it was - has left her tiny body.  She ate maybe one piece of food yesterday and I was anxious to get something into her empty tummy.  We sauntered downstairs, holding hands.  I cherish these sweet, quiet mornings together.  Each day, she shows me more of who she is and what she's becoming - truly treasured time.

I prepared some oatmeal and even sprinkled some blueberries (her favorite) in it.  Sitting her in her chair, we ask God's blessing on the food, then I set the bowl on her tray.

"No."  She shakes her head.

"Bella..." I encourage, "you need to eat some of it.  Aren't you hungry?"

"No."  More shaking of the head.

"Well, Mama just prepared this all for you.  I want you to take at least two bites.  Can you do that?"

"Ya."  She takes a small, timid bite.  Takes FOREVER to chew it down.

"Alright, Bel.  One more bite, okay?"

"No.  No!"  She is shaking her head back and forth now vehemently.

Frustrated, I look at her sternly.  "Bella.  Mama says you need to eat one more bite.  Open your mouth."

She reluctantly obeys.  Depositing the last bite into her mouth, I stay put until she's done chewing.

All of a sudden, her grey eyes get huge, she dry heaves twice, then proceeds to puke all over herself and me.  Multiple times.

Poor baby.  Stupid mom.