Yesterday turned out a lot better than I imagined. Being thousands of miles away from any family, I often feel like forgetting about holidays, rather than try and celebrate them sans family. I felt that way at Thanksgiving too (it didn't help that Trav was deployed then, also)... and the day just went by smoother when I pretended it wasn't really a holiday. I don't mean this in a depressing way, but more like a matter-of-fact, let's-be-realistic way. I know what it's like to be in a noisy household, surrounded by people you love, delicious aroma's wafting through the household, the table filled with food you both love and hate. I know what it's like to be alone, or rather just with your husband and child. And I know what it's like to try and fill that family-void with kind people from church or family's that feel sorry for you and have you over, people who you must put on your best behavior for and hope that your child doesn't throw the food on the ground for. And frankly, yesterday I just felt like forgetting Easter and simply enjoying the Sunday that it was - no expectations, no ham and strawberry pie, no hoop-la. Just us, enjoying our regular day together.
But Saturday night, I was feeling a little guilty that I didn't have a meal planned for my food-lover-of-a-husband. To compensate, I quickly whipped up a simple, but yummy meal plan and ran to the grocery store.
Then, Sunday morning at church, I happened to mention my pathetic-excuse-for-an-Easter-dinner-meal to my fellow military friend, and she laughed and admitted she also had no plans. Military people just get each other. I knew I would have excess of food, so I extended an invite to her family. Low-key, no ham, but a little bit of community. She accepted. And said she'd bring the dessert.
During the Sunday service, I was strangely pricked by the age old story and glory of Christ's resurrection. You see, being a Christian all these years has its "con's", unfortunately: my human, fallen nature grows bored and familiar with the age old news that Christ has been resurrected. News that should gladly fall on my ears as insurmountably awe-striking and glorious has taken back seat along with every other Bible story that my eyes have read. I had felt spiritually dead in the days leading up to Easter and had not taken any time to reflect on what sacrifice this was. I knew the story, I knew the outcome, and I believed it all. But I just wasn't feeling it. And I didn't have the energy to get myself all emotional about the holiday.
And as we sung the familiar songs that I have sung every Easter for the past 25 years, my sweet Risen One was faithful and precious to me. My mouth aimlessly sang the words to "Christ Arose" when He spoke quietly within my heart.
Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o’er His foes,
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever, with His saints to reign.
He arose! He arose!
Hallelujah! Christ arose!
I felt the thrill of His victory over the grave, as He confirmed, "Yes" He indeed raised Himself from the dead. Not only that, but He was still raising other's from the dead - like my dead heart. Wherein I had felt dead and lost that past week, He proved that He is still alive and will continue to raise my dead heart until we meet together in the skies. Hallelujah! Christ arose!
The rest of our day was filled with warm sunshine, good food, a long pleasant evening, and talks with both our families. A good Easter. A blessed day.
4 comments:
Jenny your posts are just so geniune and heartfelt. I just want to let you know you are doing a awesome job with Bella (who is just adorable i might add). I too know what you mean by the above post. We are not states away from family, but there have been many of holidays that we either could not nor were able to spend with a family member and it's hard, especially coming from a large family i'm sure. In any case it's been eleven years of marriage (almost 12) and God has really taught me so much about contentment all these years (tough, but good too). ANyway press on Jenny your doing awesome and great job extending an invitation to someone else.
I so hear you on this! Love seeing you both in brown in that last picture. So unexpected and so fresh!
i fell in love with this picture of you two girls. this is my wish for my birthday, a copy of it for my wallet and fridge and piano and kitchen and tv cabinet and bedroom get the picture? (no pun intended well maybe just a lttle:) very darling.
What a precious picture of the pair of you! I love to hear that the same power that raised Christ from the dead can rejuvenate our at times complacent hearts!! Praise God!
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