It's always my goal to rise before my children and spend time with my God in prayer. It doesn't happen nearly as much as I wish. Today, it did. I crave the sweet, quiet time - bowing before the Almighty, offering my concerns, my failures, my hopes, my anxieties.
As I prayed for my husband this morning, I said something along the lines of,
As I prayed for my husband this morning, I said something along the lines of,
"Help me grow in love towards him. Help me change in the way I view him and accept him."
I often have to fight to keep my attention when I pray, and after I spoke the words above, I wondered: What do I really mean? How do I expect God to work a shift in my perspective towards this man I live with, love with, do life with?
How was I going to see God working that prayer today? Do I expect a radical, instant change in my heart to automatically and unconditionally love Travis (or anyone)? If the end of the day comes, and I was short-fused with my husband, bugged at his late hours, or judgmental over the way he does things... do I charge these attitudes with an un-listening, un-answering God?
As if on cue (which He always is), God brought forth James 1:2-4 to the forefront of my mind:
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
A shift in perspective. Suffering = growing. Suffering = changing.
And that's something we all have plenty of. Suffering is ever present. Trials of various kinds are sprinkled throughout our day. We don't have to go looking for trials, do we? They are everywhere, enticing us to give up, give in, blow a fuse. And yet, beautifully, that is how God will help me grow in love towards my husband. Trials. Suffering. Steadfastness. Perfect and complete.
It's all a shift in thought, isn't it? Sprinkled throughout our day, like sprinkles on a cupcake. Little opportunities, inviting us to grow, to change. May you be reminded today of His plan for your life. And may you seize opportunities to move towards "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
2 comments:
Oh so good Jenny. I love this post. I have often wondered when I've prayed for my boys, j or myself to be shaped and molded by God, am I really praying for the hardship that brings about that change? And will I recognize it when it comes or will I slump and pout and complain? I am afraid most often I am in the latter camp. Thanks for this wonderful post!
Great post, friend! The Lord's been challenging me lately that I am accountable for every.single.thing. that comes out of my mouth and to use the tool of my tongue to glorify and honor Him, not tear others (or my inner self) down. I seem to see more failures than victories at this point as my heart and thinking are being transformed, but I'm thankful there are a lot of opportunities for practice.
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