As a child, I broke things a lot. I also lost things. I distinctly remember a situation where my grandparents had given my sisters and me new sweatshirts. Pastel colored, white puffy polar bear sweatshirts. We loved them. And then one day, I couldn't find mine. I remember searching everywhere to no avail. My mom came in my room and was obviously frustrated*, and she sternly said, "Well, it didn't grow legs and walk away, Jenny. You lost it. How you lose everything I just don't know." I felt so upset with myself, and I remember vowing to NEVER EVER get mad at my kids for losing, or ruining, things.
*As a mother myself now, I much more often side with my mother in my memories of my childhood. I see the "bigger picture." She was harsh in my memory, but I can sure understand why nowadays!
On Sunday, a precious item was broken. I had left my camera sitting atop our armoire, with the strap just slightly dangling over the edge. The girls were playing excitedly in the afternoon, and Bella threw open the armoire doors to retrieve something. In the haste, the door caught the strap and flung my camera to the hardwood floors. My new lens came smashing off and broke into pieces. (Fortunately, the camera body is insured and seems to be working fine.) I was in absolute shock. I tried to maintain my composure, especially as it was completely accidental. But, once the girls left the room, I broke into tears. Oh, my beloved camera! And right before our trip to California!!
Then, this morning, I tried to snag a few extra winks as the girls played in their room. They came to me and told me they were soooo hungry. I said they could snack on some grapes in the fridge until I was ready to make them breakfast. Minutes later, I came stumbling into the kitchen to find Bella with her hand clutching the bar of butter, then licking her hand, and squeezing it more to change its shape. Whatttt????
Later, as I was getting their oatmeal ready, I come into the dining room, to find Bella digging a ball point pen into our kitchen table, to see how deep an indent she could make. !!!!!!!
And not an hour later, as I came out of the bathroom, I find Bella scratching her fingernail into our {fairly new} flat screen tv, with Summer watching wide-eyed.
Needless to say, we had some stern disciplining moments this morning.
Sometimes, the girl seems so bright. She has an amazing vocabulary and her reading and listening comprehension blows my mind. And then, mornings like this happen and I want to shake her and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????"
Then I remember, she's not yet five. She's a child. Destruction can seem rather fun... until Mama steps in the room. And I also remember that thing I once swore to myself as a little girl, and honestly, it helps me retain my anger/frustration. We all have days that everything seems to go wrong. Days when it seems someone else is living in our body. Poor kid. Today was that day.
On days like today (and days like Sunday), I am once again reminded to hold loosely to our earthly treasures. Things are just things. Here to be used... and they'll probably get abused, too. Which, in fact, is the #1 reason I so love thrift store furniture. :-)
*As a mother myself now, I much more often side with my mother in my memories of my childhood. I see the "bigger picture." She was harsh in my memory, but I can sure understand why nowadays!
On Sunday, a precious item was broken. I had left my camera sitting atop our armoire, with the strap just slightly dangling over the edge. The girls were playing excitedly in the afternoon, and Bella threw open the armoire doors to retrieve something. In the haste, the door caught the strap and flung my camera to the hardwood floors. My new lens came smashing off and broke into pieces. (Fortunately, the camera body is insured and seems to be working fine.) I was in absolute shock. I tried to maintain my composure, especially as it was completely accidental. But, once the girls left the room, I broke into tears. Oh, my beloved camera! And right before our trip to California!!
Then, this morning, I tried to snag a few extra winks as the girls played in their room. They came to me and told me they were soooo hungry. I said they could snack on some grapes in the fridge until I was ready to make them breakfast. Minutes later, I came stumbling into the kitchen to find Bella with her hand clutching the bar of butter, then licking her hand, and squeezing it more to change its shape. Whatttt????
Later, as I was getting their oatmeal ready, I come into the dining room, to find Bella digging a ball point pen into our kitchen table, to see how deep an indent she could make. !!!!!!!
And not an hour later, as I came out of the bathroom, I find Bella scratching her fingernail into our {fairly new} flat screen tv, with Summer watching wide-eyed.
Needless to say, we had some stern disciplining moments this morning.
Sometimes, the girl seems so bright. She has an amazing vocabulary and her reading and listening comprehension blows my mind. And then, mornings like this happen and I want to shake her and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????"
Then I remember, she's not yet five. She's a child. Destruction can seem rather fun... until Mama steps in the room. And I also remember that thing I once swore to myself as a little girl, and honestly, it helps me retain my anger/frustration. We all have days that everything seems to go wrong. Days when it seems someone else is living in our body. Poor kid. Today was that day.
On days like today (and days like Sunday), I am once again reminded to hold loosely to our earthly treasures. Things are just things. Here to be used... and they'll probably get abused, too. Which, in fact, is the #1 reason I so love thrift store furniture. :-)
8 comments:
Jenny, when I was growing up if anything was ever broken, the comment was always, "You can't have ANYTHING if you have kids!!!" Oh! How those harshly spoken words pierced my soul! I still feel the sting today, and I KNOW in my head that they weren't meant. You are wise to remember... and to filter your responses appropriately. Those blessed souls are far more important than our earthly things.
Bella sounds a bit like me as a child. A curious one - I once wanted to know what sand smelled like so I scooped some up, held it up to my nose and sniffed. Bet you can imagine what happened... a nose full of sand. Not much fun to learn that lesson.
Great job keeping your composure and remembering what it was like to be little. You get a gold star for the day!
Funny, I remember as a teacher that when the kids misbehaved and I had to scold them, I found I had much more empathy for my parents than I did for the kids! I thought to myself "if I could survive the scolding, so could these kids!" I think you're a much sweeter, gentler soul than I am!
And about the lens...ugggghhhh...been there. Whenever a replacement comes your way, I can't recommend enough getting a good filter for just such occasions. One of my lenses was dropped on the cement steps at city hall once- the filter shattered, but the lens itself was fine (and in the end, it cost $100 to replace the filter instead of $1300 to replace the lens!). Let me know if you need recs.
I can so relate. Hold loosely, and treasure what lasts! It's so hard on those days when it seems they are bent on destruction...
Amen on so many levels.
Well done on keeping your composure and remembering your own childhood failures. Well done for remembering that there are "days when it seems like someone else is living in our body" - even now.
And well done on sharing your Bella issues; we had a rough day around our house, and my son seemed hellbent on making me cry with his 14-month old destructive tendencies.
So thanks for letting me know others out there have days like that too.
And SO glad your camera body is ok!!!
Such a good reminder! Thanks Jenny.
What a wise momma. I'm so glad I read this as Ellie and Bella remind me so much of each other. Thanks fro sharing, Jenny!
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