Part XI

Part XI

I left Colorado that next Monday, flying high as a kite, hating the fact that I wouldn’t see him for another two and a half months.  I would come again in June to watch him graduate and then we would have the whole summer to ourselves.  Sixty uninterrupted, blissful days to be with one another.  Meanwhile, we hunkered down in our respective states and finished out our school year.  Continuing to write, chatting weekly, we grew in knowledge and care for one another.  Things were not always perfect.  I, ever the typical woman, had my bouts of insecurities, doubts, & “why are we dating, again?”  But Travis was faithful to allow me to share every last feeling and emotion, continually blowing me away by his steadfast affection and care for whom I was – not who he thought I was.  Numerous times after our phone conversations ending with me in tears, I would sheepishly ask, “You ready to break up with Crazy-Ol’-Hormonal-Jenny yet?”  Kindly, he would remind me that he loved seeing and knowing who I truly was, I didn’t scare him off.  Travis taught me early on what true, unconditional love was for a person.  He never pushed me to love him more, care for him more, be more steadfast in my feelings.  He simply and patiently waited for me, loving the journey the whole while.  For a stubborn gal like myself, who simply likes to defy the rules just because they’re instituted, there was a beauty and security about growing to realize how much I needed him in my own sense of time.

June quickly arrived and once again I made the trek out to Colorado.  One never tires of seeing the Rockies hovering on the distant horizon after snoring driving through Iowa and Nebraska.  Travis was graduating from the Air Force Academy and had invited me to join his family in the big celebration. Not knowing what to expect, I was blown away by the formality and awe-striking magnificence in which Tommy and Travis were experiencing.  The Thunderbirds flew overhead as the commencement ceremony concluded, for Heaven’s sake!  It was a whirlwind of a weekend: I met more family at one time than desirable – grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sponsor family… Sleep was not a priority.  Flexibility was the name of the game.  Many times throughout the weekend, I began to feel out of place, not sure where I belonged.  As stories of the boys’ years unfolded through various conversation, I came to realize how grueling this time really was for Travis.  Every person that flew out to attend the graduation had played some meaningful role within the past four years, supporting Travis, loving him, providing encouragement and stability.  And here I was, girlfriend of a measly five months, tagging along like I was important in his life.  By the time we had begun dating, he was on the home stretch of his Academy days.  I wouldn’t label it “smooth sailing”, but compared to the last three and a half years, it certainly was.  What am I doing here? I began to ask myself.  I have contributed nothing to his life thus far and don’t deserve to be here, counted among the throng of those who have loved him through his darkest days.

But, attuned as he was to me, he would quickly see I was feeling out of place, drawing to the back of the crowds.  Never shy to show physical affection, he would grab my hand, wrap his sturdy arm around my waist, pull me close and make me feel as though we were a team – wherever he went, so did I.  You want Travis? Jenny comes along.  He introduced me to the crowds of family and friends as “the happiest days at the Academy.”

*

As aforementioned, Travis had sixty days of leave before he had to report to his new (and first assignment) as a commissioned officer of the United States Air Force.  He was to be stationed up in Washington state while I would finish up my senior year in Minnesota.  I, also, had the summer off from school, and we chose to spend our sixty days together in California.

It was blissful, living a mere ten minutes away from one another.  Warm, central coast weather; scenic landscaping; outdoor activities were bountiful.  We spent every.waking.moment with one another.  Rapidly, our affection grew to mild obsession; our friendship grew to best friends; and our fondness grew to love.  Oh, we had our moments of lover’s spats.  I had my occasional “Where is this all leading???” freak-out session.  We disagreed on minor subjects, and the more we grew in knowledge of one another, we realized how vastly different our personalities truly were.  Yet, we were beyond crazy for one another.  His face could melt my heart of stone, and with one kiss, we were [usually] back to giggling and holding hands. 

Since we were both living at our parents’ homes, we were forced to keep our kissing obsession to a minimum.  Each and every day it was as if we hadn’t seen one another for three years.  Throwing myself into his burly arms, I’d nuzzle my face so deeply into his chest, so as catch every scent possible on his body.  I wanted to know him, inside and out, have his smell so deeply ingrained in me that I could never lose him.  He would kiss me, thrillingly.  Every time I’d die and go straight to Heaven.  He was amazing.

It so happened that one weekend in July, my mother and father were to go out of town.  My younger siblings were at camp, and I had the house to myself.  All weekend.  I was 20 years old, responsible and well-trusted by my parents.  Yet, my mother, as she kissed me goodbye, warned, “Don’t be found alone in this house with him at night time.  It won’t look good to the neighbors.”  She tapped me lightly on the nose, smiled sweetly, and bid me adieu.  No, I knew I couldn’t have Trav here by myself.  It was far too tempting a situation. That man was intoxicating and I knew it far too well.

Yet, one evening, after walking me to my door to kiss me goodnight, I invited him in – just for a glass of water­.  We both knew better, and as one thing led to another… I succumbed to his other-worldly kisses, the way he held my back as he cradled my head in his arms.  I loved feeling ever muscle flex in his biceps as I gripped them for support to stand.  It was as if angels were breathing down on us, the way everything about him felt so perfectly delicious.  The minutes flew by and I found myself thinking, “He has got to stop this before it goes too far.  I am in over my head… he is just too perfect…”

RRRRRRRINNGGGG!  RRRRRRRIIIINNGGGG!!

Our lips parted instantaneously and we drew back, eyes glazed over with lust.  What was….?

RRRRRRIIIIINGGGGG!   RRRRRRRRIIINNNNNGGGG!!!

The phone.  My parent’s phone!  We clamored to find a clock – 11:45 p.m.  Oh geeze.  It was late – who would be calling at this hour.  I rushed to the phone and caught it before the third ring.

“Hello?”  I tried to relax every nerve in me that was tingling and silence my still-racing heart.

“Jenny?  Hi, this is Noonie.”  Travis’ mom.  I melted to a big puddle of embarrassment right there on my mom’s kitchen floor.

“Oh hi, Noonie,” I tried to sound inviting, as if she were calling at 11:45 a.m. instead of p.m.

“Is Travis there?” her voice mostly concerned, mixed with a slight bit of condemnation.

“Yes, hold on one moment.”  I held out the phone to him, and mouthed “It’s your mom.”

“Hey, Mom,” he answered.  “Ya.  I know.  We just lost track of time.  Yep.  K.  I’ll be leaving soon.  See ya.  Love you too.”

I grimaced at him as he hung the phone back on it’s charger.  “Is she mad at us?”  I felt a pit in my stomach, as if I were a 7-year old girl who just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Naw,” he yawned, running his fingers through his hair.  “I think she’s a bit disappointed, but she just said it wasn’t good for me to be over here when your parents’ aren’t here.  She’s not mad.”

“Ya,” I agreed shamefacedly.  “You should probably go,” and as I turned to grab his coat, I heard him gasp my name.  Startled, I quickly turned back to see what alarmed him. 

“What?” I asked anxiously.

“Jen…” he managed to say.  He looked as if he was stifling a laugh, suppressing a smile, and wanted to cry all at the same time.  “Jen, your neck!”

Grabbing at my neck, I didn’t understand.  Was there a spider?  Did I have a zit?  What??

Clasping my arm, he drug me to the bathroom mirror, where lo and behold! I beheld my first hickey.  Huge and purple, it appeared as though someone had struck me with a baseball bat right on the side of my neck.  “Travis…..” I moaned.  “Is this a… a…. HICKEY???  Travis!!!  YOU GAVE ME A HICKEY!!!”

Immediately, he broke out laughing.  Disbelieving, I stared at him.  What was so humorous about this, I didn’t know.  This … this… THING on the side of my neck looked as if it were here to stay and I couldn’t have felt more humiliated and horrified.  This is what naughty girls got!  This made me look like a freakin’ hussy!  I had to work tomorrow and… and…

“Travis!  My PARENTS are coming home tomorrow!”

All laughing ceased instantaneously.  His handsome face grew grave while his forehead wrinkled in concentration.  Tears of desperation were forming in my eyes as I knew I could never EVER in a thousand, billion years hide this from my mother. 

“C’mon,” he grasped my hand.  “Let’s go Google how to remove a hickey.”

That was the first intelligent thing he had said all night.

*

The next morning, I tied a scarf around my neck, over the top my turtleneck sweater, and headed to work – in the middle of JULY.  I felt the odd stares of people drilling into my back, so I simply complained (and lied) of feeling a cold coming on.  My parents were due home at 3:00, and I got off work at 1:00.  Travis was picking me up and we were going to meet my parents for dinner.  Dropping me off at my house to shower and get ready, he told me he’d see me at 5 o’clock, when he’d come back to meet up with us all.  I smiled nervously at him and he wished me luck. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it a secret,” I warned him.  “My mom knows everything.  She is omniscient.” 

“You’ll do fine, babe,” he called as he backed out of my driveway.  “Just wear what you’re wearing now!”  And he waved goodbye.

But that would never do.  I was already sweating bullets in the 90 degree weather, the wool sweater scratching my sensitive skin.  Not to mention the floral scarf of my mother’s that I had wrapped twice around my slender neck, as if I were concerned any part of my epidermis might make me appear too skanky. 

Just as luck would have it, my parents drove up our street right as I was turning to go back in the house and plan out my demise.  “Early!” I thought.  “They’re not due for another hour or so!”  Every bone in my body felt as if it weighed 100 pounds.  Oh well… here goes.

I waved at my parents as they swung into the driveway.  They were both smiling, seemingly relaxed and at peace from their weekend away.  I loved seeing my parents happy with one another.  It’s not that I ever remember them unhappy together, but in the midst of rearing five children, living life, and earning a living, distance slowly creeps in and creates strangers.  Every now and then, my parents would sneak away for a night or two up the coast.  Without fail, they’d arrive home peaceful, smiles on their faces, holding hands.  Nothing made us five children feel more secure and loved than to see our two parents loving one another. 

Stepping out of the car, my dad gave me a big hug before beginning to tote their luggage into the house.  Mom hung back and swung her arms around my neck for a hug before asking, “How was your time, J?”  I eyed her suspiciously.  Did she know already?  Was I that obvious??  How do moms ALWAYS know when something isn’t quite right?

I sighed.  I couldn’t keep it from her if I tried.  Raising the white flag, I admitted, “It was good, Ma.  I just have to tell you, cuz I can’t keep it from you.”  Pulling down my turtleneck, I gave mom a good look of my love bruise.  “Yes, it’s a hickey.  But Mom, I swear we weren’t doing anything bad or anything.  We were just kissing – a lot – but nothing else, Ma.  I don’t even know how it happened… I …” I slowly trailed off.  Eyeing her response, I wasn’t prepared for what she said.

Laughing, she pulled me close again.  “Gosh Jen!  It’s okay.  I trust you.  You know, I think it just might be your dark skin type that easily gets hickeys.  Your dad used to get them all the time, too, when we would kiss.  And he has that same dark skin.”  And with that, she led the way back into the house.  Stunned, and slightly repulsed by that tid-bit of info, I stammered after her, “Mom, puh-leeze don’t tell dad!”

*

Heading upstairs, I enjoyed a leisurely shower.  Well, that went better than expected.  Mom was rather nonplussed, which helped me breathe easier.  Trav has no idea that I told Mom, but he doesn’t have to know necessarily…

Stepping out of the shower, I dressed quickly and began applying my make-up when I heard a knock at the bathroom door.  Opening it, there stood my dad.  “Hey Pa,” I said, swinging the door open.  He came inside and found a seat on the toilet lid, as he watched my continue to mascara my eyelashes. 

“So Sweets, how was your weekend?” he queried.

“Good…” I yawned while aiming not to get black goo on my eyelid.

“You do anything fun?  Trav take you out at all?”

“Ya, we went out a couple times.  I worked yesterday and today.  Nothing much besides that.”  I tried to remain low-key.

There was a pause of silence.  I liked when my dad just wanted to be with me.  It made me feel special – like he enjoyed my company.  When I didn’t say anything else for a few moments, he slowly pushed himself off the toilet seat and came and stood behind me.  “Welp, I guess I’m going to go shower now.  Glad you had a good weekend, Sweetheart.”  He leaned in to give me a quick kiss, when he pulled away dramatically.  

“Jenny!  What is on your neck!?”

Humiliated, I covered my hickey with my hand.  I hadn’t expected him to notice, I thought my hair had covered it well – plus, my dad wasn’t the most observant person ever to grace this planet.  Staring at him, I saw it in his eyes first.  Glowing with humor, the laughter poured from his eyes before it ever reached his lips.  Seeing my horrified expression, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.  He was chuckling under his breath as he admitted, “Aw, Jen, your mom told me.  I just wanted to give you a hard time.  Kissing, eh?” and he walked out of the bathroom. 

“Dad, don’t tell Travis you know!” I yelled after him.

*

Travis arrived right on time.  He looked incredible in a white polo and jeans.  His tanned skin offset his white smile and sandy hair.  I met him at the door to let him in.  I had chosen a violet, sleeveless top paired with Mom’s floral scarf wrapped delicately around my neck.  He gathered me quickly in his arms for a sweet kiss before I led him into the kitchen, where Mom was calling our names. 

“Hi Donna!” Trav greeted my mom with a hug.  She loved him almost as much as I did.  His charm and personality was hard to resist.  Holding my breath, I listened while Travis conversed with my mom about their weekend.  She remained cordial and delightful, as always, never hinting she knew.  Shortly after Travis arrived, my dad bounded down the steps.  Joining us in the kitchen, he smelled like “Dad”: cologne mixed with shaving cream. 

“Hey Trav,” he acknowledged him with a firm handshake and friendly smile.  Dad also liked Travis much.  The mere fact that Travis played college ball was a good sign.  Not to mention that he was a big USC fan.  My dad was a die-hard baseball fan and an alumni of USC.  Two very important common denominators.

There was a bit of small talk while everyone caught up.  Catching a lull in the conversation, I urged everyone onward – out to the cars.  I wanted to leave our small kitchen as soon as possible, so to avoid any mention of the hickey.  Travis grabbed my hand and prepared to lead me outside, but not before my dad caught me with his words. 

“Jenny, are you sure you want to wear that scarf outside?  It’s so hot outside.”

Frozen in my place, I glared at him.  Dad… not now.

But he was in it for the long haul.  I looked at Travis.  His face had gone sheet white and he was staring down at me, looking for my answer.

“Dad…” I whined.  “I like this scarf.”

“But really,” he walked towards me.  “I think you should just leave it at home,” and he snatched it off my neck.  The Hickey was lain bare – for all eyes to gaze upon.  My face went red and I almost sunk straight through the floor to China.  I heard Travis inhale sharply.  Peeking up at him, he was staring straight ahead – making eye contact with no one.  “Sweetheart!” my dad exclaimed facetiously, “what is on your neck?”

“DAD!!!  Quit it!”   I pushed him playfully away.

Laughter erupted from my mom’s mouth, then my dad’s.  Trav and I stood there, hand in hand, gazing at my parents, holding their guts laughing – at us.  I glanced at Travis, whose face was a mixture of confusion and mortification.  “They know,” I stated the obvious.

Clapping a hand on Travis’ shoulder, my dad wiped his teary eyes and sighed, “Oh c’mon you guys!  Lighten up.  It’s not like we’ve never been in your shoes before.  I had to say something, seeing as you gave my daughter a hickey!”  With that, he lead my mom out the front door, as we silently followed behind – two ashamed pups put rightly in their place.