I, instead, had a mature, 27-year old fit. I waited until he left with Bella for church, and then I let the untamed words fly. I was bugged. Ooooh, I was BUGGED!! How dare he! Prance back into our lives after two and a half months of being gone... make a few assumptions about the way I live.... tell me what to do... I already DO what he mentioned, he just wouldn't know, since he's never here... blah blah blah. I twisted around the house, dusting, vacuuming, picking up junk, wiping counters.... my goal in being to prove that I'm a clean person with a clean house (even though this wasn't the matter at hand). That I'm worth my weight in gold. I was out to prove something.
As the hours went by, I calmed a bit. Summer was taking an unexpected nap, blessing me with plenty of quiet time. As I stirred the soup on the stove and watched my bread rolls rise, I finally gave in to the Scripture that I heard beckoning me. Opening randomly, one hand holding a wooden spoon and the other flipping thin pages, I opened to Proverbs 12. And I silently prayed, "God, I know I'm wrong. Give me truth right now to help my stubborn spirit." And I began to read:
1. Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid.
...
4. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Really?? Yes, this is what I flipped open to. And, ooh, how that first verse stung, reminding me that the Word of God is indeed active and living. He who hates reproof is stupid. Wow. That's me...
And the Lord gently {oh, how He's so gentle} brought me back through my immature response to my husband's opinion earlier, and showed me how I was wrong and led me in the right way to respond. I don't want to be stupid!! I want to be wise. I want to be the crown of my husband. I want to do good all my days. What a cost that comes at, though! We must love discipline. We must deny ourselves and our initial reactions. So hard.
Today, and everyday, I'm grateful for His gentle grace.
*Linking up with Grace Laced Mondays {a new blog I found that I'm loving!}
5 comments:
HA! Love this post. Jason is never one to let me "get away" with my sin and short comings. The stupid thing is that I always wanted a husband who was man enough to tell me when I'm wrong and not shrink back in submission/fear from me. EVERY time he tells me something, which isn't all that often, and is always filled with grace, I get so darn annoyed/mad. Stupid I know. It takes a day or two for me to be ok with it/glad he loves me enough to want me to change for the better.
I'm so thankful you linked up, and that I've gotten to "meet" you! How guilty I've been of this very thing...of thinking myself wise, and yet...truly stupid as I resist reproof. Ironically...I am always training my children in this very truth...and they must see it in me first!
I was corrected and given some advice at church a couple weeks ago about my mothering decisions. Because she was someone I admired, her words hurt more than I anticipated. It was a good reminder of my own foolishness. Regardless of whether or not she was right, I did not like being corrected. A wise woman receives correction. And I was not a wise woman, but I, too, did not want to be stupid.
Thanks for sharing. =)
Today I can honestly say I am thankful for a husband who rebukes me in Godly love, but I am all too often not a cheerful receiver of discipline....thank you for sharing the Lord's work in you. It is a gentle reminder to me and I appreciate it!
loved this, Jenny! i don't want to be stupid either, thanks for the reminder friend!! :-) love you!
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